It Really Was Weiner’s Weiner

by Katherine Scardino

In May I wrote about the seemingly overload of male "pigs” - defined as men who had too much power and not enough common sense. I asked you at the end of that post in Women in Crime to “stay tuned. I’m sure there’s more!” And, sure enough, along comes this weirdo Congressman from New York, Anthony Weiner. I admit that I did look at the tweeted photo of his covered weiner and was totally unimpressed. But, what makes Mr. Weiner interesting to me now is that he was sexting, which I also wrote about last February, asking how did we, as a nation, get to the point that having sex via satellite was, well, sexy?

Early on, when the scandal first became news for almost all breathing Americans over the last several weeks, I felt that he should stick it out (no pun intended...) and keep his job. He was elected to Congress by the citizens of New York, and I did not see that anything he had done was really any of my business - taking into account that sexting has become somewhat routine for a large portion of the population of the United States. I believed that if the citizens of New York wanted him out of office, they should do so by their vote.

Then, things got a little more serious. As I understand there were several tweets to various women that were more than a little suggestive. I have not read them, but I would love to read the words and form my own judgment as to whether they are truly offensive to the general public, and really, whether the general public has any business reading them or, for that matter, looking at any private photograph that he has tweeted to “friends." Do these stupid, irresponsible, personal acts interfere with his job? Did we all think the tweets were so offensive because he is a married man? And, married less than a year to a very beautiful, successful woman. Does that fact change anything for us?

I noted that his wife was not “standing by her man” in any of his comments to the press, and especially during Mr. Weiner’s press conference when he officially resigned his position. I read in an article recently that women today are not like the women of ten years ago or longer. Women no longer feel the need to suffer embarrassment and ridicule just because they are the “loyal wife.” Strong, successful women today look at these men and can actually make individual judgments about the stupidity of their husbands and decide they do not wish to play the game. I give you Maria Schriver Schwarzenegger as a perfect example. Granted, her husband, the Governator, committed acts that were a bit more serious than Mr. Weiner and his weiner. But, nevertheless, she did not even make an attempt at excusing him or standing with him at any public announcement. I, personally, commend these women. Sometimes, spouses do such irresponsible, illogical and basically dumb things that it overcomes any thought of loyalty.

But, I want to talk a little more about sexting. Would someone out there please tell me why sexting is a happening thing now and especially why is it occurring among our young people? Can they not find a bed? Or the back seat of a car, as I recall... (no more about that!) But, at least my transgression with a high school football star was in person and not via satellite. Is it because the younger generation has grown up with social media: emails, text messaging, IM’s, Facebook, Twitter and now Skype, and that all emotions in any kind of relationship are relayed via these non-personal methods? Is there anyone out there who still believes that a personal conversation is better when  it is actually personal? That sex is really better when it is done in a prone position of some kind on some sort of flat surface - and in the privacy of someone’s home, car, kitchen, back yard, pool, hot tub, floor, etc...

If we are all involved in the computer relationships, how much do you learn about being social and about interacting in society with another student, teacher, parent, employer? Can these kids even talk? I know a young man, now age 25, who grew up in his room in front of a computer. And no, it is not one of my sons! For years, he could not speak in person except for an occasional grunt. We had to learn which sound was a positive sound and which was a negative sound. Over the last few years, he has matured and gotten a little better, but it is still definitely troublesome for him to speak aloud to another human.

But, back to Anthony Weiner. For people in public office, I would imagine that satellite communications of all kinds are a godsend to politicians. Think how many people they can reach via email and other methods of communication - all without leaving their desk. The idea of sending a photograph of a private part was not envisioned by the creators of these new methods of communication, but it became too easy.

So now, ex-Congressman Weiner, you have lost your job and perhaps your pregnant wife as well. But, why was he railed on so hard? Dare I even mention John Kennedy? He had sex with any person with the appropriate equipment, and some even in the White House, his home where Jackie and the children also lived. No one said anything about any of that activity until after his death. Or, Franklin Roosevelt, whose true love was not really Eleanor, but instead her one time social secretary Lucy Mercer, with whom he carried on a 30 plus year affair. The list goes on and on: Bill Clinton, John Edwards, Rudy Giuliani, Newt Gengrich, Eliot Spitzer.  And, I have not heard any news reports for weeks now about Arnold Schwarzenegger. And, who - or where - is Mark Sanford these days? So, why the big deal about Anthony Weiner? What do you think?

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Mystery Man - Russell Ingle

by Russell Ingle

For my household, and for most other families in McNairy County, Tennessee, Tuesday, March 22, 2006, was an ordinary day. But in the Selmer home of Matthew and Mary Winkler, an extraordinary day began. Mary held the shotgun that blasted a hole in Matthew’s back. The Church of Christ Pastor was dead. His wife was on the run with their three little girls.

Now more than two years later, one question still remains: Did Mary Winkler get away with murder?

On April 19, 2007, after an eight-hour deliberation, the jury found Mary guilty of voluntary manslaughter. On June 8, she was sentenced to 210 days in prison, with credit given for 143 days she had spent in jail the previous year before making bail. The judge allowed her to spend 60 of the remaining 67 days of her sentence in a mental health facility.

Was this verdict just? It’s a question that will be debated around her for years to come.

Since we’ll never hear Matthew's account of the years, months, weeks, and days leading up to the shooting, we may never know what caused Mary to pull the trigger.

During her trial, Mary (pictured above during testimony and below with her father and attorney) contended she’d been forced into uncomfortable and unwanted sexual liaisons with her pastor husband including dressing up in a wig, “slutty skirts” and “hooker shoes,” and performing oral and anal sex. Of course, there’s a fine line between what one person believes is normal and another sees as healthy fantasy. When a husband and wife are in agreement, fulfilling each other's fantasies is a healthy component of marriage. Were Matthew Winkler's sexual desires normal? To paraphrase Bill Clinton, it depends on what the meaning of “normal” is.

In recent months, the initial sympathy Mary's super star legal team managed to generate has waned. Reputation is not made or lost in a day’s time. It is something that plays out when the curtain is pulled and we catch a glimpse of the real person behind the headlines. It’s true that in the months following the shooting, Mary attempted to portray a stable and dependable person. She gained employment and lived with friends in McMinnville. Still, although we may never know who Matthew Winkler truly was behind that closed bedroom door, there are hints that at the very least Mary was not the team player in her marriage that her defense portrayed.

Red flags appeared in the months leading up to and following the trial. On New Year's Eve 2006, for instance, Mary was seen in a McMinnville bar smoking a cigarette and surrounded by drinks. Is there anything immoral with having the occasional smoke or sip of an adult beverage? For most people, no. But as a member of the Church of Christ and a minister's wife, Mary was breaking a moral code of conduct.

A few months later, just 10 months after her husband’s death, the public learned that Mary was dating Darrell Pillow, brother to Paul Pillow, the owner of the dry cleaning business where she worked (pictured right). Is there anything wrong with seeking the companionship of another? Again, it depends on who you ask. For some it seemed entirely out of line that Mary would date another man when she had not fully faced the outcome of the legal process, not to mention while she was still attempting to regain custody of her three daughters.

Since her release from a mental health facility, Mary has lost her job and no longer lives with her friend Rudy Thomsen. In a recent interview, Cleaner's Express owner Paul Pillow said Mary Winkler was "forced on him," and he never really had the finances to justify hiring her in the first place.

Though no real light has been shed on this case, unresolved questions linger as new ones arise. What will the end of this tragic tale be? Is there a happily ever after, at least for the children? Only time will tell if this heartbreaking case has an ending satisfactory to not only the Winkler family but to the folks who have followed it in McNairy County and across the world. Maybe one day, the book will close on this horrible tragedy that has captured the imagination and passion of a nation.

Maybe.

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