Thursday, October 7, 2010

Hate Crimes and the Homosexual Refugee

by Gina Simmons, Ph.D.

Before he became famous for the Star Wars films, writer/director George Lucas made a movie called THX 1138. In this film, set in a dystopian future, opposite-sex passion was forbidden and punishable by death. Two lovers of the opposite sex try to hide their feelings, only to find it impossible to do so. For heterosexuals, this film shows how it might feel to be gay in a hostile world. This experience of forbidden love forms the narrative for the lives of many gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender (GLBT) youth.

When Tyler Clementi leaped to his death from the George Washington Bridge last month, he left behind a sea of grief and a mountain of unanswered questions. New to Rutgers University, like most freshmen, he likely felt awkward and afraid. Hoping for social acceptance and connection, he set up dates in his room, after asking his roommate for privacy. His roommate allegedly conspired with another student to broadcast Tyler's private homosexual encounters over the Internet. Charged with invasion of privacy and possible hate crimes, the two voyeurs likely ruined their lives and destroyed Tyler's.

A hate crime, under current federal law, comprises criminal conduct motivated by prejudices based on some aspect of a victim's identity, such as race or religion. Victims of hate crimes often suffer more depression, stress, anxiety and anger than victims of other violent crimes. This may stem from the very frightening prospect of being hated for something you can't change in yourself. Targets of hate crimes often suffer symptoms of posttraumatic stress disorder, including nightmares, intrusive thoughts, and emotional numbness.

Before the Internet, a kid could reinvent himself by moving away to another school or another town. You could escape from gossip and find yourself in a better place. Now, there is no escape from your digital past. Want a government security clearance? Sorry, you've done some obscene stuff on video. Want to win a beauty contest? Well, that mean girl took pictures of you in the shower and there's a Web site to prove it.

A recent study by Dr. Karen Franklin from the University of Washington found half of all young men surveyed admitted some form of anti-gay aggression. Of those who did not admit to anti-gay aggression, three in ten reported a likelihood to behave aggressively if a homosexual attempted a seduction. Penn State researcher Sue Rankin co-authored a report showing high rates of harassment and a lack of safety for GLBT youth on college campuses. In this hostile climate it's no wonder that GLBT youth have higher rates of anxiety, depression and suicide attempts than their heterosexual counterparts.

I've counseled GLBT youth who felt accepted by one parent and loathed by the other. One could tell his parents, but had to stay closeted for the grandparents. Another bright and compassionate teen lost his church youth group leadership position after a peer revealed his sexual orientation. Though still an innocent virgin, the fact that he had homosexual feelings made him unfit to lead.

Many churches across the country actively foment hatred for homosexuals. Ironically, the same religious leaders and politicians spitting hate speech from the podium often hide a history of criminal predatory sexual behavior. Psychologists have a name for this. When we have feelings that make us uncomfortable, our mind comes up with a quick defense so that we can feel all right about ourselves. Reaction Formation is an ego defense mechanism that allows one to hide uncomfortable, anxiety-provoking feelings by expressing the opposite emotion. One can protect a heterosexual image by loudly expressing hatred for homosexuals.

Tyler Clementi left digital clues about how he felt shortly before he killed himself. He wrote in a chat forum:
...and so I feel like it was 'look at what a fag my roommate is.'--other people have commented on his profile with things like "how did you manage to go back in there?" "are you ok?" and the fact that the people he was with saw my making out with a guy as the scandal, whereas I mean come on...he was SPYING ON they see nothing wrong with this?
The world might still get to hear Tyler Clementi's wonderful violin music if one person had written, "How dare you invade his privacy like that! You should be ashamed of yourself!" How lonely Tyler must have felt when he realized that hostile voyeurism and humiliation were socially acceptable, but he was the pervert because he kissed a boy in his own room.

We can all help prevent teen suicides. Parents and friends of GLBT youth can join Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays (PFLAG). We all should read the information accumulated by the Gay, Lesbian, Straight Education Network (GLSEN). Here, you can learn how to support the healthy development of young people struggling in a hostile world. Post the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline number in your workplace (1-800-273-TALK). And for you GLBT teens out there, don't give up hope. As lesbian rocker Melissa Etheridge sings, "You don't have to live like a refugee."

Photos courtesy of and


obladi oblada said...

Thanks for the information on Reaction Formation. I never knew the term for that before.

As a Christian, who serves a LOVING God, and who doesnt believe the gay lifestyle is the way God intended for us to live, I know that HE didnt intend for us to hate someone because of it. He loves all of us, and to preach hate towards those who live that lifestyle, and to do it in the name of God, is just as wrong as murder in the eyes of God. To those people I would say read your Bible...or admit that your hate is something more, and has NOTHING to with God or Gods work. To spread Gods word is one thing, to do it in a hateful manner such as protesting homosexuality at fallen soldiers funereals in the name of God, is just pure nutiness, and you need lots of help.

In regards to those who tormented Tyler Clemente in such an evil way, I have thought that maybe it was due to repressed feelings or desires on thier behalf, now I have a name to put with it. To those in Tyler's position, please know that not all Christians feel hatred toward you as individuals; to do so is to be the exact opposite of what I, and many others, beleive we are supposed to be. You have a right, as human beings to not be abused in such ways and those that carry out such abuse have deep seeded problems.

DrGinaSimmons said...

Thank you for your thoughtful comment. It's a good reminder that individuals can treat one another with kindness and dignity even with differing beliefs and values.

marybowman said...

The legal community seems so preoccupied with the rights of Dharun Ravi and Molly Wei. I heard the comment of Wei's lawyer that made my blood boil. He said that Molly is being used to further an agenda. An agenda? Tyler Clementi had no agenda. All he wanted was to live his life. He had a right to live his life. What about him? What about his rights? Were they taken away because of his sexual orientation? There are friends of Ravi who say that he would have done the same if Tyler was with a girl. Nope. Uh uh. He knew his room mate was gay in August. He even went on web sites where young homosexual men go to discuss various issues. So maybe the reaction formation applies to him. A young man who was an amazingly gifted musician, is now dead. He would not be dead if Ravi and Wei had not streamed those videos of his sexual encounter with another male student. They committed a hate crime. And Tyler deserves justice.

Cathy Scott said...

Enlightening post, Gina!

DrGinaSimmons said...

Thank you for your comments Mary and Cathy. Hopefully Tyler's life will inspire others to have compassion and understanding for the unique pressures GLBT youth face.

Judith A. Yates said...

obladi oblada you are EXACTLY part of the problem. "...doesn't believe the gay lifestyle is the way God intended for us to live," "Lifestyle"?? I'll ignore that.
Young people receive their cues, beliefs, and modeling from adults. Hateful, prejudice adults make hateful, prejudice kids. Religion creates just as much hate as it does "love." These youngsters took their cue on how to act, who to hate, and why they should make this boy's life a living hell because people like yourself.
I did volunteer work with kids - yes, kids- who were living on the street turning to drugs and prostitution for food because their families disowned them, or physically kicked them out, or treated them so horribly they had to leave- leave or kill themselves. I'll never forget the 14 year old whose father beat the boy into the dirt, leaving him bloodied and broken, because he came out to his dad. The father forced the kid to live on the street that was Dec. 25. The kid had to drop out of school and sell himself just to get food.
"Love the sinner, hate the sin" has helped cause more deaths, crimes, and pain than you would even know.