I am about to get another round of angry women bashing me for what I am about to say. And I am willing to stick my neck out again because I am so sick and tired of this injustice happening over and over again; men being accused of rape without evidence of any such thing happening. Again, I remind you, I am not saying women are never date raped, that there aren't quite a few men committing this criminal act; I am simply saying, let's stop condemning men without proof. A charge of rape can destroy a man's life just as an actual rape can destroy a woman's, maybe even more so because while she is seen forever as a victim, he is seen forever as a psychopathic criminal sex predator.
Jack Armstrong's name is now mud. He has had the label "rapist" attached to his name in hundreds of news articles like this one from the Los Angeles Times. Essentially, the story says that in 2010, Armstrong met the woman outside of a Beverly Hills bar, they went in and he bought her a few beers, and next thing she knew, she woke up in a hotel room with her pants off and with soreness in her private parts. She felt nauseous.
Based on her story, it is being insinuated that Armstrong roofied the woman's beer and from that moment on, she was unconscious on her feet (and off of it) and he raped her while she was dead to the world.
Only, if you read this far better article from CBS Los Angeles, maybe not:
Police say he used his celebrity status to attract his victim.
“He met the victim at a bar in West Hollywood,” Beverly Hills police Sgt. Max Subin said. Armstrong took the victim to a hotel and she reported the rape the next day, March 5, 2010, he said.
The attack could have been drug-induced, Subin said.
“She woke up, didn’t feel right and realized she was assaulted,” he said.
So, there is no proof of any date rape drug being used. Either she never got tested for it or the test came back negative. Just because the woman didn't feel right when she woke up, doesn't mean she was given GHB or Rohypnol - who feels great in the morning after they drank excessively the night before? We don't know what alcohol she consumed before she had the three beers nor do we know if she also had drugs in her system that she put there her herself.
So, if no rape drug was used, then what do we have? If the woman was so drunk she didn't know Armstrong was having sex with her, maybe she was so drunk she didn't remember she had sex with him! If she can be so drunk not to remember what she was doing since she was in the bar (and obviously walked to the car and into the hotel room), why should we believe she couldn't have had consensual sex in that same state with Armstrong being totally unaware that she was unconscious on her feet? For that matter, if the woman can be so drunk as to not know what she is physically doing, why can't Armstrong be equally as drunk and unknowledgeable? And, while we are at it, how do we know she herself didn't rape Armstrong while he was flat on his back unconscious? It can happen. Please read this study about the repeated claims women make about being roofied not being proven to be true, that most of the time, binge drinking is really behind the condition of women who can't remember what happened the evening they went out partying. Men do ply women with alcohol because they know it makes them stupid and willing to have sex with them (hence, that Joe Nichols' country song about tequila making her clothes fall off).
To make matters worse, now the police are reaching out to the other women who might have been raped by this rich guy. Don't you think a few psycho women might be motivated to get attention and money from making such claims?
What I see here is an irresponsible police department and irresponsible media. Unless they actually have a confession from Armstrong, there would appear to be zero evidence to convict this man, but the damage will have already been done to him. I don't know this guy; he may be a sweetie or a total tool. He might brag about his wealth and celebrity status to get women to sleep with him (which is no a crime as the police seem to suggest) or women might throw themselves at him because they love money and fame. What I do know is that if the police don't have proof that Jack Armstrong put a date rape drug in this woman's beer which it appears they do not, all we have is a woman who drank too much, went willingly with a guy to his hotel room, and had buyer's remorse in the morning or saw an opportunity to get attention by filing a false police report. That is NOT rape and it is an insult to women who have been raped to say it is and it is wrong to charge men with rape just because they "got lucky" and after the fact, their luck changed.
PS. All "Shame on you, Pat Brown, for blaming the victim!" comments will be removed for being obtuse and not reading my blog properly. I am not blaming true victims of rape for the crime of rape. The rapist is 100% responsible for the crime. However, in terms of date rape, there are more responsible behaviors women can make that will keep them out of the hands of such criminals, like not getting trash drunk and going to hotel rooms with strangers because you think he wants to just have tea and explore your brilliant mind.
How to Save your Daughter's Life by Pat Brown at Amazon or Barnes and Noble and bookstores near you.
Included in this book, a ton of information about
The Early Years
Partying, Drinking, Drugging, Casual Sex (Hooking Up), and Gangs
Date Rape
The Dangers of Social Networking and the Internet
Risky Relationships
Stalkers
Child Predators, Serial Rapists, and Serial Killers
The Sex Trade and Sex Trafficking
10 comments:
One reason I DO warn women about going someplace alone with a stranger especially after drinking and publicly kissing on him is that it would be very hard to prove after any rape that it was not consensual. It is a fact of life that women DO have to be cautious because although they may indeed be a victim they may not be able to prove it.
at least you provided some real argument and detail. many times, people get ripped for no reason. crazy story nonetheless. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kIB556XzKQ8
While I agree that it can be too easy for a woman to call rape on a man, if the woman in this case was too drunk to know what she was doing she was also incapable of giving consent. However, I absolutely agree that there is no concrete proof to charge anyone with utilizing a date rape drug.
If men deliberately ply women with alcohol to make them stupid and "willing" to have sex with them, then isn't alcohol a/the date rape drug? Plying someone with a drug to impair that functioning in order to have "sex" with them seems like a date rapey thing to do, and while we can teach women not to binge drink, should we not also teach men not to use alcohol as a date rape drug, to value sober consent and sex?
unless the woman is having the alcohol poured down her throat by the guy them he's not responsible for how much alcohol she consumes,.she is.
If the woman appears to be functional and not falling all over the place, how is a man supposed to know she is in a fugue state? I know a lot of people that seem to be just a little tipsy but the next day they have no recollection of the night before, this is both women and men. If there is no evidence of rape in this case, no drugs, no injury, then I call bullshit. This woman is looking for money and/or her 15 minutes of fame. The sad part is, she'll probably get her money. They'll do an out of court sealed settlement and that'll be it for her, no trial. Like you said though, guilty or not,.he'll be labeled a rapist forever.
How does 2 people drinking equal SHE was "too drunk to give consent". I don't understand 2 drunk people having sex, but then people acting like only the woman was incapable of giving consent. It goes both ways. Woman want equal rights but still the ability to always play the delicate flower victim (and for the record, I am a woman.) In this particular case, there's zero evidence and yet this man's life is ruined.
If a person is unable to give consent, then it is rape. So whether she/he was unconscious due to a drug, alcohol, a seizure, a brain aneurysm or any of other reason at all, is not the relevant fact to determine whether or not the person was raped. However, giving a date rape drug would speak to intent.
No one has suggested that two people drinking cannot have consensual sex. The point is that one person is conscious and the other is unconscious, then the correct thing to do is to NOT penetrate their private parts. Even men should not have to wake up with no underwear and feel sore from having been penetrated while they were unconscious. It shouldn't happen to anyone even if people don't remember that it happened to them.
Only problem is that now consent is out the window when it comes to intoxication, however, it's almost ridiculous how many men are accused of rape for one reason or another. A girl kissed me once so I kissed her back. An hour later she goes, "You know what you did was rape, right?"
Throughout high school, middle school, and college it was the same thing. Girls would come up to me saying they were raped. I was all, "OMG!" Every. Single. One. Later came to me saying that they made it up to garner sympathy. That's why I tell them to go file a police report nowadays.
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