Dead Give-A-Way

by Susan Murphy-Milano

Imagine for a moment the grief associated with the death of a loved one. The planning of a memorial or funeral service is overwhelming.

Your body and mind feel invaded by some unknown alien force. You cannot think straight. There is a tremendous amount to do during this time. And all you want to do is “just get through it all.”

When my parents died, the family home where I learned to play my first game of hopscotch and learned to roller skate without taking another trip to the emergency room for a broken bone, was burglarized.

On the day of my parents' funerals, along with the entire residential street, as we were saying goodbye . . . thieves were saying hello as they entered into the rear basement window of the home and helped themselves to whatever they could easily carry out the door. No one was ever arrested. It has haunted me ever since.

Recently, a neighbor passed away. The husband and wife raised their family and lived in the same home for close to 50 years. As Emily, the grieving widow surrounded herself with family and close friends she went through the motions. First, Emily made arrangements with a funeral home for the wake and funeral service. While in the office of the funeral director, Emily handed the computer-generated death notice she filled out on-line with all the information on the immediate family, date and time of both the wake and funeral, for submission to the newspapers. Emily included the clubs, charities, and associations her dearly departed loved one involved himself with over the years. From the published death notice:

"John was a loving husband, father and grandfather. He served in the Army as a captain during WWII. He was a proud member of local 714. Bob was a member of a rare stamp and coin club. He collected first edition books. And when he retired John traveled the world discovering new treasures and meeting and making many friends. He will be missed by so many who loved and knew him."

It would become painfully obvious someone else loved John, or at least his property, when Emily and her grown children returned from the funeral service eleven hours later to find a thief had broken into their home as the family laid their loved one to rest. Much of what was stolen could not be replaced. This included years of family photos filled with loving memories.

These types of crimes during death are common. According to law enforcement it is rare when an arrest is made in these cases, because everyone is attending the funeral.

A published death notice is a dead giveaway for a thief.

It is very simple to gain information. Start by using the white pages on the Internet (go to people search) and type in anyone's name and the state where they live. I suggest using your own name and see what comes up. When I did this for Emily, John's name came up, age, phone number, who else lives in the home. If I look further, the site also lists the first 10 neighbors in the surrounding area of the residence. YUK!

Once I had the address I headed for the County Treasurer's Office Web site. Depending on the state and county of an address, locating the tax identification number of a property will vary.

Once I typed in the address, the tax information and history of the home was on the screen. I pressed another tab on the site and I was directed to a live photo of Emily's home and property. Great tool for someone preparing to break into a home. For Emily's residence, I was able to visually see with the assistance of Google "streetview." Close-up I viewed the back entrance of the property, the height of the trees and shrubs surrounding the home and a large detached garage.

The very first order of business you should take care of prior to going to make arrangements is, head to your local post office. Fill out a card and have the mail held for a three to four week period or change the mailing address to a friend or a relative's. This prevents important mail from being stolen. And all around it is a great safety tool.

Next, limit what is said in a published death notice. Do not list too much personal information or activities. This gives a heads-up to thieves about valuables or money in the home.

Make arrangements with your church to house sit during the wake and funeral service. If that if is not an option, contact a reputable security company and hire them to sit in the home. Or call your local law enforcement and ask if you can hire an off-duty officer.

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