by Pat BrownI am thoroughly depressed today. I was planning to write this rousing tribute to Jenny Sanford, wife of philandering South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford and now she has gone and joined the League of Stand By Your Scumbag Husband while He Treats You Like a Dog political wives and she has let American women down.
Just a day ago, women all across the country were cheering that FINALLY, a wife of a cheating politician didn't stand humiliated by his side at his press conference while he told the world he screwed another woman and that he valued his affair over his wife and family.
Then women applauded Jenny Sanford for throwing the bum out. She appeared to have taken a stand that this woman wasn't going to just allow the creep to come right home and pretend nothing happened.
Finally, and best of all, women were thrilled that Jenny Sanford stated, "His career is not my concern." Hurrah! Yes, why should she care about his career when Sanford could care less about his wife and children's happiness?
Then, fast forward a few days. Jenny Sanford has reneged on her statements and has now taken her place by her no-good husband's side and this was after he confessed not only to supposedly have fallen in love with another woman, but to being a serial cheater and big fat lying dog. Worse, not only has she let the buzzard right back into her life (he is joining her on vacation in Florida to "work on their marriage"), she is politely encouraging the citizens of South Carolina to follow her cue and forgive their Sanford and allow him to stay in office. Jenny Sanford has proven to be just as wimpy as the other political wives, albeit it took her a few days to get over being mad.
Before one thinks me too harsh on Ms. Sanford, let me say I understand she is in a tough position. I understand, believe me. But tough positions do not mean we are to compromise our standards, our morals, our dignity; that's what standards are for, especially Christian standards, to continue to be our standards when life gets tough. That is why a marriage vow means until death do us part, not until we get the hots for someone else.
was married with four children but that didn't stop her from jumping into bed with him. And, in spite of the fact she was "in love" with the governor, she was sleeping with another man who had no clue she was two-timing him. What a treasure this woman is! She has as little character as her American bed mate. I have launched into this tirade for a number of reasons: one is to show women how little respect they have for themselves and for each other and two, to show how the act of adultery has been reduced to a "victimless crime" making marriage a completely meaningless institution. Women seem to not understand that marriage no longer offers any protection and no-fault divorce means your husband can dump you as fast as a man can snap a twig in a primitive village and not have to take care of you or your hut any more.
This might not be a problem if all women received the same pay and career opportunities as men and they didn't set their careers back twenty years taking care of kids. But, the fact is, women still lag behind men in earning potential and many are still full-time caretakers of children. They ought to receive some protection through marriage as they end up in a risky position economically if their husbands leave them. Long time homemakers who are dumped during the husband's midlife crisis are particularly in trouble as getting hired later in life with a limited career history is extremely difficult.
Women in this country have regressed to competing with each other to be men's temporary possessions. Perfectly intelligent women, women with education and careers, are fighting each other for male attention. Maria didn't fall in love with Sanford; she got a massive ego boost by "getting" an American governor and having him say she was so much better than his wife (and all cheating men say this kind of crap). Even second wives - innocent of being involved with their husband during his first marriage - fall for this ego massage: "You are so much better than my first wife." Yet the fact that he was an adulterer doesn't make her question his character or his veracity because she gets to be the "winner." She is the chosen one.
Sadly, women have been pitted against each other, fighting over some dog who should be kicked to the curb. Why? Because adultery is no longer a crime in this country. Adultery has no penalty. In spite of the fact that the man (and I am not saying women are not guilty of this, but I am speaking out for women in this post and the incidence of men cheating is much, much higher than women) has broken his marriage vows, crushed his wife's heart, destroyed his family, and, perhaps, physically damaged his wife with sexually transmitted diseases (maybe even killed her), adultery is now considered a private matter between two people.
Wrong. It is a societal issue. It is not a victimless crime. Before marriage, a cheating boyfriend is one matter. A woman has the option to not sleep with a man before marriage. There is no family to break up. He has taken no vows before God and community nor has he signed any papers. But, after marriage, the wife, the husband, the children, the in-laws, and the community all have a stake in the preservation and health of the family unit. And the woman, if she gives up career for children, must not be left economically bereft after two or three decades of marriage. This is why there used to be alimony and divorce used to require fault.
Essentially, adultery used to be a crime. You might have gotten an A on your forehead, taken to jail, lost your job because of it, lost your standing in the community, or you got nailed with twenty years of supporting the wife you left with court mandated alimony. Of course, we must not forget that laws against adultery were originally made by men who considered their wives property and the adultery laws were levied against women, not their unfaithful husbands. However, at least in the recent American past, there was a time when the law was fair to both spouses and adultery held some real consequences for the cheater. Remember the song, "It's Cheaper to Keep Her"? Well, it was and now it isn't.
Now adultery is just an unfortunate result of someone's "dissatisfaction" with married life. Adultery is often not even considered all that wrong. When a mate cheats, the victimized partner hears, "There are two sides to every story. There must have been other problems in the marriage that led to the cheating." The victim is blamed for the mate's philandering. Rarely is adultery considered a character flaw or a sin or a criminal act. Thus, the cheater isn't penalized any more. In fact, he is often pitied for having "suffered" in his marriage with the troublesome wife for so long and feted when he beds new women, gets new girlfriends, and remarries. The ex-wife, if she speaks the truth and stands up against what has been stolen from her. is considered a "bitter psycho ex" who, for Christ sake, should move on with her life and find herself a new man. He plays, she pays.
Families are disintegrating in this new paradigm; children are being forced to live with umpteen new "mothers" and "fathers" and stuck between rivals, having to celebrate occasions by picking one parent or the other to attend, and losing the comfort and joy of a family - one cohesive family.
Women are acting more like chimpanzees attempting to get the attention of the alpha males than decent women searching for honorable companions.
Young women are being left caring alone for young children and are bringing in boyfriends who molest and abuse them.
Older women are left alone without male companionship in their later years bearing out the joke "The odds of an older woman getting remarried is about the same as getting killed by terrorists."
Jenny Sanford is supposed to be a Christian. She acted like one for a few days. She appeared to hold her husband to the standards of God and decency. I am not saying that she cannot forgive her husband for his transgressions; she can when he is fully repentant and proven himself to be worthy of returning to the family. She should never allow him back into the home until he has proven himself humbled and changed. She should not be telling the people of South Carolina to give him a second chance. She should have stated that Sanford should resign as he does not deserve the position of governor any longer.
When women have no respect for themselves, each other, and any standards of behavior, they bring all females down just as badly as the cheating men. If we are going to let them do it to us and get away with it, we deserve what we get and men will respect us even less in the future. Each time females accept this treatment and mistreat each other, we lower ourselves. We set a bad precedent for our daughters and insult the struggle for human rights that women across the world are desperately fighting for. Shame on us all.
