Denial In Naples: The Case of Steven Noyes

by Robin Sax

One would think that in the year 2011, given the advances in technology, communication, and social awareness, child sexual assault would not only be accepted as something that exists but should at this point be known as a crime that takes a particularly skilled type of perpetrator to commit. Yet, everyday very smart, caring people put theirs and other children at risk by not accepting the very harsh realities of child sexual assault. 

Today’s case of denial begins in the tight-knit Naples, Florida community at a school dedicated to Christian values where a young 9 year old -- herein referred to as Doe did as we hope any child would -- reported that her beloved teacher Steven Noyes touched her. Yet as the news spread throughout the school community, as is often the case, a loud group of disbelievers, naysayers, and deniers made their voices heard.  It is the children of those people that I am most concerned for.

What motivates those members of the school community jump to the teacher's defense? Why do people in these cases automatically disbelieve the victim and support the teacher? Is it possibly because the parents cannot stomach the image of a teacher being a sexual predator? Is it all about denial? Are these people naïve or are they cruel? Eternal optimist that I am, I'm betting on naïve.  So as we sit here and pat ourselves on the back about how far we have come when it comes to sexual assault, I say it's time to accept the facts:

• When society accepts the myths surrounding sexual abuse, it assists sex offenders by silencing victims and encouraging public denial about the true nature of these assaults against children.
• Even "really great" and "really nice” teachers can be sexually inappropriate. As a matter of fact, the "nicer" the teacher is the more likely that the teacher is using charm and kindness as a way to groom and seek victims.
• Statistics show that the number of false allegations of sexual assault are far less than the number of truthful allegations of sexual assault. Yet, the default mode is to disbelieve, rather than to believe, the victim.
• 1 in 4 women will be assaulted in the course of her lifetime. It is because of the blame, denial, and fear that many do not report the crime.
• Not everyone who comes in contact with a child molester will be abused. In truth, sex offenders tend to carefully pick and set up their victims.  Thus, while sex offenders may feel driven to molest children, they rarely do so indiscriminately or without a plan.
• Sexual assault survivors are never responsible for the attack, no matter what, no matter how much alcohol was consumed. Responsibility lies with the perpetrator; the survivor is never responsible for the assailant's behavior.

THE PEOPLE

Jane Doe  is an outgoing, kind girl, who still to this day doesn’t even get the sexual nature of a breast-touch, or even breasts as sexual body parts.  She had loved the Village School of Naples since she started there in kindergarten. 

Her parents are the kind of folks you’d want in your community and in your school-- trust me, you’d want them as your friends. They are church going, softball playing parents who take pride in their value-driven life. In fact, they chose Doe’s school because of its mission of, “educating the child’s mind, body, and spirit through Christian values in an ever-changing world.” 

Since the day they were made aware that Doe’s allegations had been reported to the school, they’ve felt anything but Christian values.  And the fact that Doe had to suffer the molestation wasn’t  enough; the teacher and the school decided to question Doe’s story. Interestingly it didn’t happen right away… no the questioning came right before the school was getting a visit for re-accreditation.  Hmm… coincidence? 

The teacher’s name is Steven Noyes, a one-time Golden Halo honoree, who has responded to the investigation by hiring a criminal defense attorney who hijacked the investigation. Noyes refuses to answer questions and refuses to take a polygraph--leaving the sheriffs who want to get to the truth no choice but to suspend the investigation until Noyes changes his mind. Thankfully there is no statute of limitations on child sexual assault, so if Mr. Noyes is faced with another case --therefore corroboration -- this case should come back to haunt him.

THE INCIDENT

The facts of the case are not much different than any other sexual assault.  That is, a a sexual assault that was reported early in the cycle of abuse like Doe’s.  After all, a perpetrator doesn’t just start with out with intercourse or oral copulation.  No--they start slow. They groom and groom to test the “loyalty” and vulnerability of their victim.

Just after Christmas 2010, Doe was in her homeroom class working on her math homework and got stumped on a long division problem. She asked her teacher for help. She went up to her teacher’s desk, and that’s when it happened.

As Doe tells her mother and father, the teacher began helping her with her first question. He put his hand under her dress and on her knee. Then, he reached his hand up her back and under her shirt, coming around the front to rub her chest. He kept his hand there while he helped her with three other math problems.

Afterward Doe didn’t protest. Instead she thanked Mr. Noyes and returned to her seat. She didn’t understand what just happened to her, but she couldn’t push one thought from her mind. When she went home that night, Doe says she still feels her teacher’s hand on her chest. It’s a horribly vivid sensation she can’t shake. As Doe’s mother was getting ready for our courthouse press conference, she told me “Doe still feels that hand--to this day."

THE AFTERMATH

The parents didn’t panic, but they simply wanted answers, direction, and support. They didn’t call lawyers or press instead they approached the head of the school, Ginger Sauter, a woman they’ve gone to church with for years, as a friend. Ginger told them, “this is all my fault, I shouldn’t have let him hug the children.”

Then things quickly turned from bad to worse. A criminal investigation began on January 21, 2011, two days after the incident, conducted by an officer from the Collier County Sheriff’s Department. On January 28, the investigator received a phone call – not from Stephen Noyes, but from his criminal defense attorney – who informed the officer that Mr. Noyes, “would not be answering questions, or submitting to a polygraph examination."

On February 1, the same officer paid a visit to the Doe’s home. The little girl bravely met with the investigator, even agreeing to wear the same dress she wore to school that day. She even allowed him to photograph her in it.

Then the officer informed Doe’s mom the investigation had gone as far as it could.  He told the family that he could find no other leads, no other child to corroborate Doe’s story, and with the suspect, ”not agreeing to speak to me,” there was nothing further he could do. And so, the case would be suspended.  So sad, how this suspension somehow provides some people with an excuse to think that this crime couldn’t have occurred. As if the abuse and aftermath was not enough, The Village School of Naples added salt to the fresh wound.

The school doesn’t sit the family down to discuss what to do next. They church pastor, closely associated with the school, does not come to administer spiritual support to the family, instead the Village School quietly expelled little Doe from school!  How’s that for child-centered education? The teacher was allowed to return to his job. Imagine. You did the right thing and they don’t believe you.  In a blink of an eye, you go from honor student, to expelled student.

THE LAWSUIT


Child sexual abuse has reached epidemic proportions in schools throughout our nation and has become an alarmingly frequent occurrence. The cases that are surfacing almost daily serve as a wake-up call to everyone in America to protect our children.

The teacher, Steven Noyes, is by all accounts "beloved” and has a clean record. The same scenario goes for the priests who sexually abuse children and all of the other people who choose careers working with children, only to groom them and then sexually abuse them. That’s the typical M.O. of a child abuser. And yet it is the priest, or the accused teacher, who often is believed over the victim.

The day of our news conference, as Doe’s parents nervously walked up to the podium of microphones to face those cameras, there was a taint of disbelief in the air, as though someone had convinced the reporters covering this lawsuit Doe had made-up this story. The questions from the press came fast and furious.

"Wasn’t there a complete investigation?"

"Didn’t they close the case due to lack of evidence?"

I answered one by one.

"No the investigation isn’t over, it was suspended when Mr. Noyes refused to answer the sheriff’s questions."

Some of the questions came from a man standing among the press core.  Well-dressed and well coiffed despite the heat, we learned he was criminal attorney Jerry Berry. Berry began shouting his comments from behind the line of cameras.

I invited him up so he could speak his mind.  He began to attack us--for filing a lawsuit, for holding a press conference, and worst of all the press seemed to go along with this approach. Yes, they wanted to know, why do you want to sue the school. 

This is the story of a father who believes, and is standing up for his little girl. It’s about a mother who wants to make sure no other child goes through the pain and suffering her daughter has. The goal in filing a suit is to get answers, to hold the school accountable; to make sure that this case is not simply swept under the rug.

It is our goal to have a safe forum for people to come forward as we know that there are likely other victims out there. My co-counsel Jeff Herman said it best, “Now we wait for the other girls to come forward. The ones who also know they were touched inappropriately, but suffered in silence."

Our suit describes what happened to Doe. Over the years, Noyes reportedly the “hugging” teacher essentially groomed his young victim. He showered her with affection, drew her close and built a relationship based on trust.

Doe’s parents told me they feel he groomed them too with signs of friendship over the years, all the while insinuating Doe closer and closer into his circle. They remain solid in their conviction they are doing what’s right. And their daughter gives them the strength to do it. After she won an award in her new school, she said, “see mommy, God rewards good people.”

I hope so. I really do.

Tweet

The Curse of a Narcissistic Mother: Cindy Anthony

by Dr. Michelle Golland

If we believe that Casey Anthony was involved in the death of her daughter Caylee and we believe her parents either know this or have further information that would help build a case against her, they sure aren’t talking.

Many mothers ask, “How could Cindy Anthony protect the murderer of her innocent granddaughter?” Cindy Anthony’s narcissism is the how and the why. Cindy needs to protect her own self-image as the mother of a possible child killer. Her overwhelming narcissism would not allow her to ever reveal what she may know because she would never be able to cope with the public seeing her as a “bad” mother.

The allegations of sexual abuse by Casey against her brother, Lee, and her father, George, would make sense given the volatility of their family. What I see clinically with Cindy Anthony is a portrait of a narcissistic and self-involved mother who has been trying to control those around her for many years. Her anger and rage is palpable when we see her in interviews, whether with police detectives or the media at large.

Let’s face it; this family has been fighting since it was revealed that little Caylee was missing. They have continued to be volatile with each other and create chaos, even outside the chaos of losing a child. Casey and her parents not only disagreed how to handle the memorial and funereal of Caylee, but while she was alive they were in a constant struggle for power and control over their daughter and their granddaughter. As a psychologist, the manner in which they have conducted themselves at each of these critical moments is a reflection of how they managed as a family prior to little Caylee turning up missing. Secretive, deceptive and rageful seem to be the themes constantly swirling within the Anthony household.

Cindy and Casey have had a challenging and disconnected relationship for a long time. They seemed to be fighting over Caylee even while she was alive. In reports, Cindy forced Casey to keep the baby when Casey would rather have terminated or adopted out. It seems that Cindy used her granddaughter as a further way to shame and guilt her own daughter Casey to either behave responsibly or to use her as a weapon in the war of “I do so much for you” game that parents like this often find themselves waging against their children.

Cindy appears to be a controlling and difficult mother, and if true, her reaction to Casey about being sexually abused by her brother, a narcissistic and dispassionate mother as well. According to Casey, when she shared with her mom about the abuse, she said, “That is why you are such a whore!” I must say, I am not shocked by Cindy's response. This can often be the reaction of the family when sexual abuse is revealed. It is so overwhelming, they often would rather deny than deal with it directly and effectively.

It seems that Casey is a pathological liar and clinically appears to have elements of borderline personality disorder. When looking at people who develop these personality structures, we often find behind them was a parent--whether mother or father--who was extremely narcissistic as well.

Tweet

Cell Phones Are Not All Bad

by Robin Sax

Oprah, I’m sorry. Please don’t think I’m a bad person because of what I’m about to write here.

I have a confession to make. I love my phone, I love technology. and I love being connected, in touch, and up on the latest, even if it causes me stress or overloads my synapses or interferes with a meal here and there. Yep, I’m one of those. You know exactly the type, the ones who are seemingly always texting, tweeting, updating, emailing, and even sometimes talking. Basically, if it involves my phone, count me in.

There are many published articles that criticize cell phones for any number of reasons, with the majority focusing on the same theme that being connected is distracting, dangerous, and even lethal. Not coincidentally, lobbyists, concerned citizens and legislators have rallied around this issue. There is even a zero tolerance time in California, with the state declaring April Distracted Driving Awareness Month, and we all have heard Oprah’s truly wonderful campaign against texting while driving (I signed that pledge).

Let me be clear: I am not here to say that all of these cell phone campaigns are not worthy, but I am also here to embrace the cell phone by taking a moment to celebrate (or LOL) about the anniversary of probably the single-most used piece of technology, the cell phone. Thirty-eight years ago the first public cell phone call was made by a Motorola executive walking on the streets of Manhattan. We’ve come a long way, baby. 

Before I highlight the benefits of cell phones, I must clear up an essential misnomer. Cell phones are not phones. Cell phones are mini-computers, mini-cameras, mini-video recorders, GPS devices, and phones all rolled into one, and that’s the beauty of these devices. Yes, they help connect our worlds, but when it comes to crime, their benefits are even greater.

We know that criminals exploit technology and advance their behaviors as technology advances. Well, folks, cops can too. And it is these benefits that have saved lives, found people and provided essential evidence later on. 

Let’s take a look.

Emergency scenarios: It's not news that cell phones often record key elements and evidence in a life-threatening disaster as well provide a lifeline and assistance in an emergency scenario. Cell phones have played a role in emergency events, from 9-1-1 calls, to young people lost while hiking or rock climbing alone in the mountains.

Crime reportinting/memoralizing: Victims and witnesses who find themselves in a crime scene have been able to use those devices in many ways--instantly calling law enforcement, snapping photos, and utilizing data stored in phones (for example, registration and insurance).

Law enforcement is often able to see the last searches on a suspect’s cell phone, Internet browsers, and can even start to form a criminal profile based on the kinds of apps, games,and searches the suspect uses.

Drug crimes: Phone records, cell phone camera pictures of drugs found as well as “pay and owe lists” stored on a drug dealer’s cell phone provide a veritable treasure trove of information. And it's all kept in one place. Before cell phones, drug dealers usually kept this incriminating information on little slips of paper shoved in wallets.

Missing persons/kidnapping: With these crimes, time is of the essence. Cell phones can let authorities know where people are. The last calls made can determine who was called, where the person was going, and where a ping goes off on a cell phone tower that helps find the location of a victim.

Domestic violence: Secret cell phones allow victims to memorialize their abusers' crimes and eventually leave the abusers. Victims can get cell phones with disposable, non-traceable numbers.

Serial killers: They often like to memorialize their crimes on their cell phone camera leaving law enforcement with ready made evidence.

Sex crimes/child pornography: Cell phones are one of the best ways to corroborate child sexual assault. In addition to porn, phones store text messages and ping locations provide the corroboration that is necessary to prove a sex crimes case. Given that cell phones are used so often by just about everybody, it's nearly impossible for a perp not to lead to a mark in the phone that will lead to eventual corroboration. In addition, child pornographers as collectors often carry and store images with them, thus making it an immediate value a crime scene evidence right there in the phone itself. 

So, while I totally agree with the downsides and problems with the cell phone, please don’t blame the device. Happy anniversary, cell phone. It’s been great working with you. This is truly a relationship that can last, so long as we all do not text and drive.

Tweet

Denial: The Perpetrator’s Evil Accomplice

by Dr. Gina Simmons

"I think my husband is sexually abusing our baby," a counseling client confided. The young mother reported disturbing observations, including: mysterious abrasions on her daughter’s rear end, the child screaming every time the dad approached, and, the kicker, "I saw him naked with an erection in the baby’s room last night!" I told her I needed to file a child abuse report. She agreed to a safety plan to protect her baby.

The next day an investigator called me to discuss the case. I repeated what the mother had told me, including more details than reported here. "She told me you exaggerated what she said," the detective told me. "She denies ever telling you she thought her husband was abusing the child." As we talked, the detective described the mother as "cagey, guarded, and highly protective of her husband." The detective stated, “Unfortunately, it is our policy not to pursue these cases when the only witness recants. Unless you have other evidence, there’s nothing I can do."

The mother never returned my phone calls. Several months later, I ran into her in a public place. As is my practice, I don’t talk to clients in public unless they choose to speak to me. This protects their privacy. She approached me and said "Hello." I responded, "How are you?"

"My husband and I are great! Things have never been better," she said with a stiff, non-Duchenne smile.

Denial, the rejection of a truth too uncomfortable to accept, really sickens me. It keeps kids in abusive homes, allows pedophiles to serve communion, and enables killers to get away with murder. Sometimes denial serves a positive function. In a New York Times article, Benedict Carey describes how denial can allow us to idealize our loved ones by overlooking flaws and exaggerating strengths. This serves as a way to preserve family relationships, and it fosters loyalty and healthy attachment. Understanding and empathizing with our loved ones encourages forgiveness and domestic harmony.

Often a couple comes into therapy with what they call "communication problems." After 25 years of experience, I’ve learned that the problems often have nothing to do with communication and everything to do with denial. Many couples who reported "communication problems" in the first session eventually revealed their denial of problems like:

· Drug/alcohol addiction

· Family violence

· Extramarital affairs

· Child abuse

· Criminal activity

The real therapy doesn’t start until clients begin to tell the truth. Otherwise, the truth remains invisible under the haze of denial. Author Richard Bach writes: “The worst lies are the lies we tell ourselves. We live in denial of what we do, even what we think. We do this because we are afraid."

How do you know when you’re in denial?

· You are 5 feet tall and weigh 250 pounds (yes, you eat too much).

· Your friends and family hate the way your boy/girlfriend treats you (yes, s/he’s bad).

· Your friends and family fear for your safety (yes, your behavior is risky).

· You were arrested for DUI (yes, you have a drug/alcohol problem).

· Your son violates his probation (yes, he’s resumed his criminal activity).

As an anger management expert, I work to help people lower their levels of hostility and increase empathy for others. Empathy helps us understand and forgive. We can empathize with an abuser who suffered brutal treatment in childhood. Empathy for the abuser does not mean we should excuse abuse.

We teach people healthy ways to cope with strong, uncomfortable emotions so they don’t need to rely on denial to get through the day. But as any criminal profiler will tell you, many crimes of violence stem not from the heat of rage but from the cold calculations of a psychopath. And for every psychopath moving through the world looking for a victim, there’s a denying enabler looking the other way.

Photos courtesy of Google Images.

___________

Gina Simmons, Ph.D., is a licensed psychotherapist and consultant specializing in anger management and workplace violence prevention. She writes for the Manage Anger Daily blog.

Tweet

Sex-crimes statutes of limitations: Why?

by Diane Dimond 

Sometimes the most simple-sounding questions spark the most profound discussion.

What’s our purpose on earth?

Why is the sky blue?

Why do we have a statute of limitations on sex crimes?

I mean, really, why give the criminal any break at all? By placing a limit on how far back the prosecutor can go to punish a sexual predator, aren’t we telling countless victims that the justice system doesn’t apply to them?

Experts in the medical and law enforcement fields will tell you the career sex offender has probably committed dozens of attacks over a long period of time before they’re ever caught. An FBI profiler once told me the Bureau stopped a serial molester who was in his 90s. Imagine how many victims he’d left in his wake.

Let’s say a career sex offender – maybe a priest, a teacher or a family member – routinely molests children and tricks them into staying silent for 10 years. (Statutes of limitations vary from state to state.) When the offender is finally brought to trial, the prosecutor is often barred from telling the jury about his past pattern of bad behavior, not even if a dozen others come forward to claim the defendant did the same thing to them. Too bad, the law says, it doesn’t matter anymore.

That’s a horrible thing to tell victims, that what happened to them doesn’t matter, that they can't get justice. 

I know a lot of people who work in the justice system, so I called them to pose the question, “Why is there a statute of limitations on sex crimes?”

Mickey Sherman (right) is a noted Connecticut based defense lawyer. “The system is designed to protect a defendant’s rights. Every person has a right to be notified in a timely manner as to potential criminal charges against them,” he told me. "It’s just not fair for someone to be able to say, ‘Hey, 26 years ago last Tuesday this man raped me!’”

When I contacted Boston attorney Wendy Murphy, known nationally as an adamant victim’s advocate, she offered a much more sinister assessment of the status quo.

“The way these silly rules work should make any decent person cringe, because limitation periods mean a perp who raped 25 children can, as soon as the clock runs out, walk into the middle of main street and brag about his crimes – and there’s nothing anyone can do about it.”

Many others I contacted didn’t want their names used. Most seemed puzzled when I asked if we could simply do away with the statute of limitations for sex crimes.

A federal prosecutor in New Mexico told me, “that’s what the state legislature wants … (they) determine what S.O.L. will apply to every crime.”

A retired district attorney from California said, “It doesn’t have to be that way … a state legislature could pass a law and change it. Maybe it is time to change some laws.”

I also asked a sex crimes prosecutor, who answered in an exasperated tone of voice, “Why is there a statute of limitation on anything! I guess so the cases don’t linger forever…” And he admitted how tough it is to prove a crime happened years earlier. Details get fuzzy, witnesses move away, evidence can get lost, and defendants have the “right to a speedy trial.”

I came away thinking the real answer as to why we allow this is because that’s the way it has always been done …

That’s not to say that some adjustments haven’t occurred. Some states now allow childhood victims from 30 years to come forward. Some waive the time limitation and start the clock anew if psychiatric treatment has helped a victim recover their memory of abuse, or if DNA evidence from a current attack matches the DNA from a dormant case. Long ago, law enforcement started collecting DNA samples from rape victims, and now forensic matches in current cases are helping past victims find resolution. Finally, they are able to come face to face with the shadowy criminal who stole their dignity.

I like this suggestion by Wendy Murphy (left): “Someone,” she told me, “needs to confront the head of the judiciary committee in (every) state legislature where the time limits are short and ask only one question: “Why do you want a child rapist to EVER stop looking over his shoulder, wondering if the cops have finally caught up with him?”

The truth: there is no constitutional right to stop the clock from running on a crime. The lawmakers in your state have simply failed to act.

There is no statute of limitations for murder or treason, and I would submit sexual assault is just as life-damaging and heinous a crime. Let’s demand we abolish this foolish statute.

Tweet

The Victim's Voice

by Emma Wise
WCI Guest Contributor
 

Picture a little girl running, alone, trying to find her way home. She’s six years old. She is running away from her babysitter’s house, carrying a painful secret. She's fleeing the pornography the sitter’s sons shoved at her. And she's fleeing something worse, something that fills her with shame.

Somehow,  she finds her house – but the door is locked, and she has no key. She runs to a neighboring house. The neighbors let her in, and call her mother at work. Her mother comes home, furious at her little girl for running away from the babysitter's. She doesn't ask the child why she ran home or what she was running from. The little girl is afraid to speak up on her own; she's terrified the boys will come get her if she tells.

The angry mother grabs the girl by the arm and yanks her into the car. On the short drive home, she lectures her daughter; then she spanks her. What does this teach the little girl? Don't run away, and always obey adults no matter what. The mother sends the girl back to the sitter's house, this time under orders to apologize to the boys -- for not obeying them -- and to promise them she won't do it again.

So for one year, every day the little girl goes back to the baby-sitter's house, and every day the older boys sexually assault her repeatedly.

To avoid the hurt and pain, the little girl retreats into her mind, pretending she's not the one being raped. At home, she's miserable; no one will listen to her. She throws fits, trying to regain a sense of control. 

Finally, the babysitter and her children move away. The little girl loses her best friend -- the sitter's daughter -- but she also is finally free of her tormentors. She won't have to look at any more naughty body parts or feel the shame and pain of the violations she suffered.

The little girl and her two big sisters go to vacation bible school. A nice lady there tells her all about Jesus. The little girl want Jesus to love her; she asks Jesus into her heart whenever she feels ugly or dirty. 

The three sisters go to church more often. The little girl finds comfort in the idea of Jesus. She loves to sing the hymns: "Stop and Let Me Tell You," "The Lord is my Shepherd," "We Have a Great Big Wonderful God"... She feels safe -- for a little while.

Then she discovers that among her family's friends is a father who likes little girls. By this time, the little girl craves a father's attention; her own father is always angry, always yelling at her.

This other father likes to hold the little girl on his lap, read Bible stories ... and rub against her. This teaches her that rubbing grown men, and letting them rub her, is natural. She feels shamefully invaded and good at the same time. The other father tells her God will only forgive her sins if she does as the man asks; he says the girl must forgive him or she'll go to hell. He tells her he'll kill her if she tells anyone.

Once again, the little girl retreats into her mind while her body is invaded. She and the other little girls keep going to church. They accept this is just the way things are for them, that they're meant to be used by men. Sometimes they love Jesus; sometimes they're very angry. 

At home, life only gets worse. Her parents fight all the time. Her father hits her when she whines, fusses or disobeys. He comes home drunk; he yells, hits and threatens the little girl and her mother. So the little girl keeps going to the older men who fondle her and make her feel like a princess. 

By the time she is 13 years old, she has a miscarriage. She wears pink lipstick and dresses in clothes meant to get boys to look at her and like what they see. Soon she is an all-grown-up girl, yelling at God in her mind, trembling in fear. She's tired of her father berating her for getting pregnant; she's tired of being forbidden to see boys.

Then she finds an escape. She starts to run track, play volleyball, and study hard, avoiding the pain and sorrow her father still doesn't want to hear about. She hurts deep inside, but she doesn't know why. 

She thinks often of ending her life, but each game keeps her going. The crowds cheer for her, people smile at her. She hides behind a plastic smile. She's voted the school's most popular athlete, and the nicest person, of her senior year. She goes on to college to play ball. She no longer wants to be around Christians; she believes God is a joke or a myth who offers neither hope nor love.

Then the all grown up girl's carefully constructed armor shatters. She falls and tears her Achilles tendon. For two months she can't play ball, and she can't escape the pain and confusion inside. She's never the same. The cheers on the ball field aren't enough to keep her going anymore. 

She has a boyfriend, but he pushes her to return to Jesus. She wants to, but she can't. She trusts no one with her pain. Instead, she gets drunk and tries to kill herself. That's when her angel finds her. The angel -- a true friend -- gets her to the emergency room in time to save her life. 

Her angel-friend invites the girl to her home. The girl is surprised to find that this angel has nothing but love to give her. 

It is to the this angel-friend that the girl finally releases bits and pieces of her long road of torture, pain and sorrow. For the first time, the all grown up girl is held and rocked as she weeps out her pain. She's afraid she won't be able to stop. The angel reassures her that it's okay to cry as long as she needs to.

The all grown up girl was 19 years old. 

Emma Wise is the pen name of a woman who was sexually abused as a child. In the years since she tried to kill herself, she earned a bachelor's degree and two master's degrees. With the help of therapists and her faith in God, though not organized religion, she has built a life and is married with three step-children and five grandchildren.

Tweet

Moms from Hell

by Kathryn Casey

Lately the Mom-from-Hell phenomenon has consumed residents of my hometown, Houston, slapping us in the face every morning over our cereal and orange juice. During the past month, the Houston Chronicle's front pages have displayed photos of a beautiful young mother charged with committing a despicable crime against her infant son and a supposedly dedicated nurse who allegedly sat back and let her boyfriend turn her young daughter's life into a living hell.

Case one, photo above, Katherine Nadal, in March 2007 the mother of a five-week-old boy. What did Nadal do? Well, according to her ex-husband, she first spent a night partying and taking drugs, then argued with him about whether or not their infant son should be circumcised. It seems Nadal was in favor and her husband wasn't. The next day, prosecutors argued, Nadal took a knife and cut off her infant son's penis and testicles, then unemotionally watched him bleed, nearly dying, as the EMTs she called attempted to save his life.

A former cheerleader, Nadal's nothing if not consistent. Last Friday, when she stood to hear the jury's verdict -- a resounding guilty -- she stared blank-faced around the courtroom. Jurors apparently didn't believe Nadal's contention that the family's mini-dachshund bit off the infant's genitals. Experts during the punishment phase argued that the child will never have a normal life, be able to have children, and may be in danger of committing suicide throughout his teenage years. For this horrible act, the jury sentenced Nadal to 99 years.

Case two is just as horrifying, the on-going heartbreak of the short and terrifying life of little Emma Thompson, the cute, red-headed four-year-old pictured on the right. Before she died, Emma came to the attention of Houston's Child Protective Services when she contracted genital herpes. One would think perhaps that should have been enough to take the child away from her mother. Apparently CPS disagrees. Emma's mom, Abigail Young, is a nurse, described as a gifted one at that. How did she explain her daughter's STD? A dirty toilet seat. Next thing we know, little Emma was beaten to death.

Granted, CPS didn't know that Young was living with Lucas Ruric Coe, reportedly pond scum already well known to the agency. That's Coe and Young pictured below. Among his past brushes with the law: assault with a deadly weapon, criminal mischief and injury to a child. He'd been investigated by CPS three times in unrelated charges involving another girlfriend's child.

When CPS investigated the herpes blisters found in Emma's mouth, hands and genitals, Young insisted she lived alone with Emma and her two older daughters, ages 11 and six. "She denied having a boyfriend," a CPS spokesperson has said.

The day Emma died, her mother rushed her to the hospital. But first, Young apparently tried to repair some of the damage from the horrendous beating the child received by attempting to super-glue her cracked skull. At autopsy, Emma had 80 bruises, a fractured skull, brain hemorrhage, and a vaginal tear. She also suffered blunt-force trauma to her abdomen, the death blow.

Texas Governor Rick Perry has ordered an investigation into why CPS didn't remove little Emma when the herpes was diagnosed, which might have saved her life. Meanwhile, the rest of us shake our heads and wonder how any mother could do the things Nadal and Young are charged with. Sometimes reading the morning newspaper is enough to make me sick.

Tweet