Free Will: Too Much of A Good Thing?

by Lucy Puryear, M.D.

As a teenager I struggled with authority. Yeah, me and every other adolescent who's walked this earth. I balked against anyone telling me what to do, when to do it, or what I ought to think about it. It's my body, my hair, my education . . . so leave me the hell alone. I swore when I had my own children I would never repeat the "sins" of my parents.

And then of course I had my own kids and I knew they needed guidance and gentle influence, and sometimes even some not so popular rules. "No, you can't stay up until two on a school night, no you can't go to a party where there are no parents, no you may not speak to me that way. . . ." And their response to me is the same one I gave my parents: "I can't wait until I'm eighteen and you can't tell me what to do anymore."

What you realize as an adult is that it's not so simple. There are not automatically unrestricted freedoms that come with adulthood. There are still rules, and expectations, and societal norms, and even laws that must be followed. And as I tell my children, "No, you don't have to do what I say, but there are consequences to not doing so." If you break my household rules you may get grounded or lose your allowance. If you break societal laws you may do jail time or worse.

The dilemma comes in our society where the government was founded on individual rights of free speech, freedom of religion, the right to bear arms (rights currently being hotly debated), versus the needs of the larger group to be protected from someone's individual rights. Is it okay for you to threaten me with bodily harm as an expression of your right to free speech? Is it okay not to wear a helmet when you ride your motorcycle, if after you squash your brain on the highway, my tax dollars are used to take care of you?

Nowhere is the tension between freedom of religion--an individual's right to choose--and societal laws and norms greater than in the case of the polygamists in Eldorado, Texas. (Women and children after being removed from the compound pictured below.)

So what's so wrong with polygamy? If a woman chooses to be one of five wives, shouldn't she have that right? Not my choice to do so but then no one is asking me to. I assume the FLDS church is just fine with my decision to stay away from them. They're not knocking on my door trying to recruit me as wife number six. So why don't we just leave them alone to practice their religion in peace?

I can think of a lot of religious practices that seem very strange to me. How about taking communion on a Sunday and believing that it is truly the body and blood of Christ? (I actually do believe in that as a practicing Episcopalian, but I'm also willing to admit others might think that practice quite odd and non-sensical.) How about the Jewish practice of circumcision, which is a religious ritual but practiced now by Jews and non-Jews alike? You don't think cutting the foreskin off of a baby's penis a little barbaric?

Where do we draw the line between free will and the safety and well-being of others? The FLDS group from Eldorado believes that they are upholding God's prophetic vision for them to live their lives in plural relationships. The United States has laws that make polygamy illegal. However these groups have been practicing polygamy for decades and mostly have been left alone to practice their religion. But this case hinges on the well-being and protection of minor children. And that's where the issue of free will becomes very important.

We do not believe that children under the age of eighteen (a somewhat arbitrary cut off) have the right to free will. I think mostly because we think they're not mature enough or wise enough to exercise their rights using good judgement. And that's often true. Ask any child whether they thought going to school was a good idea and you'd get many who'd opt for the "only if I feel like it and there weren't any tests" track. So as a society we have chosen to subsume the rights of the child under the rights of the parents. And in the Eldorado case the parents have chosen to allow their underage young girls to be married to much older men and to participate in sexual activity, often against their will. Most of society calls this child abuse, and this is why the children were removed from the compound. Child abuse trumped the right to practice your religion without obstruction from the government.

It will be interesting to see how this case turns out. I think many will be surprised to see that most of the women and children will be allowed to return to the compound. It could be a worse fate for some of these children to be taken away from their mothers and sent to foster care. That can't be the answer for what's in the best interest of these children. And it may be astonishing to many that if given the choice, most of the women would choose to take their children and return to what they consider a safe and nurturing home.

There will be much argument over whether or not these women from Eldorado are acting freely. They have been raised in this environment and some would say "brainwashed" to believe that they are subservient to men and that it is their duty to practice plural marriage. Most of all of us have been "brainwashed" by the way we are raised. I'm an Episcopalian, my next door neighbor is a republican, my best friend was raised to believe in astrology and the power of crystals. But I would say we have free will because we have the freedom to choose whether or not we want to continue the practices of our parents. They may be disappointed or even angry if we choose to vote for a democrat, but we won't be banned from contact with the family.

Adults should be allowed to practice whatever religion, or be in whatever relationship configuration they choose, as long as minor children are not abused, coerced, or denied the right to choose another lifestyle in adulthood. When someone who does not have the right to exercise their own free will is hurt, the law needs to intervene. This is true for children, the elderly, and those with serious and persistent mental illnesses. Thirteen-year-old little girls should not be having intimate relationships with men. That is not religious freedom. That is child abuse.

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Ink Blotter

Ink Blotter

In last week's Ink Blotter we discussed the case of 12-year-old Becca McEvoy (pictured left) after Becca's story was written about by sex-crimes prosecutor and WCI contributor Robin Sax. WCI thinks this case deserves more attention and we hope you join us today to continue the discussion.

Other WCI Blogs inked this past week include our Mystery Man--jury and trial consultant, Robert Hirschhorn; the jury "de-selection process" by contributor and murder prosecutor Donna Pendergast; and the opening this past Thursday of the New York stage production of The Judas Tree. Contributor Diane Fanning told us the story behind the play which is based on real-life female serial killer Dorothea Puente.

On Wednesday, Kathryn Casey wrote about the subject of polygamy and the recent raid in Eldorado, Texas, of the FLDS (Fundamentalist Church of Latter Day Saints) compound. Andrea Campbell posted on the FBI's use of billboards featuring most wanted fugitives. And Pat Brown brought us the story of Cheryl Cottle, the apparent Black Widow who married the transplant recipient of her previous husband's heart. Finally, Donna Weaver dismantled the complex issue of the FBI's mishandling of confidential informants, an insidious issue that resulted in murder charges against former FBI agent John Connolly and others.

So please stop by WCI later this afternoon and let's talk about what's on your mind.

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Polygamy Revisited

by Kathryn Casey

“It’s not like being born in the U.S. It’s like being born in another country,” says Joseph, who more than a decade ago fled a polygamous town in Utah. “I think of my life like being caught up in the Holocaust.”

The recent raid in Eldorado, Texas, of the FLDS (Fundamentalist Church of Latter Day Saints) compound, in which more than 400 children were removed from their homes and taken into CPS custody, brought back strange memories. Eighteen years ago, Ladies’ Home Journal sent me to the side-by-side polygamous enclaves of Hildale, Utah, and Colorado City, Arizona. The reason: to report on a sensational adoption battle over the six children – four girls and two boys – of Brenda Thornton, a woman who died of breast cancer. On one side were the children's biological aunts, Thornton’s two sisters, and on the other polygamist Vaughn Fischer and his first wife, Sharane.

For those of you unfamiliar with the way polygamy works, a man legally marries a first wife and then joins with subsequent women into “spiritual marriages.” Six weeks before her death, Brenda Thornton had entered into such a “spiritual marriage” with Vaughn Fischer, becoming his third wife. Before dying, she signed papers to allow him to adopt her children from a previous marriage. Although Thornton’s sisters fought hard, they were outmatched monetarily by the Fischers, whose battle was financed by their church. In the end, Vaughn and Sharane were given the right to adopt Brenda Thornton’s children by the Utah Supreme Court.

I’ve never forgotten my days in Hildale and Colorado City. They were desolate, windblown and unfriendly places. There were no restaurants or hotels, because the folks there didn’t want strangers visiting. Some men had more than a dozen wives. In a main house, they lived with their first, second, perhaps even a third wife, and their combined children, while around the perimeters of their properties other wives and children lived in small cottages. In the Fischer household, a schedule posted on the refrigerator tracked which nights Vaughn slept with which wife.

There’s so much I remember, but especially the children. It was summer, and in the more than ninety-degree heat, boys played basketball in long pants and long-sleeved shirts and the girls were dressed in handmade, cotton, pioneer-looking dresses, despite the heat wearing slacks underneath to ensure modesty. And the children were everywhere, swarms of them on swings and in playgrounds, laughing and smiling. But they scattered whenever I approached like tumbleweed in a dust storm. I was an outsider, and they’d been taught from birth to stay away from outsiders. Outsiders wouldn’t understand their lifestyle, their culture. Outsiders were the enemy.

Recently, watching the news coverage of Eldorado, I thought about the children of polygamy yet again. Much attention has been given, as it should be, to the abuse of the young girls, married off at tender ages to men decades older, at times their biological relatives. I wondered, too, about a subject that has gotten less press: what it's like for the boys. To find out, I made a few telephone calls. Eventually, I connected with a man in his thirties who grew up in polygamous households until the age of nineteen. He agreed to talk. For our purposes, I’ll call him Joseph.

KC: When you look back on your life, what do you most remember?

Joseph: The way we were all indoctrinated, brainwashed. The mind control used on us. When I went to the Holocaust museum in Washington a few years ago, I realized they were many of the techniques used by the Nazis--sleep and food deprivation, emotional, psychological, and sexual abuse.

KC: Was this type of abuse prevalent in the community?

Joseph: I can only speak to the house I grew up in. The father was in complete control, and there was abuse at every level. We had no one to go to, no one to complain to.

KC: What did they use to control you?

Joseph: He distorted our sense of reality. We suffered horrible punishment if we didn’t do what we were told. The father was a brutal dictator. From early ages, we were told that if we didn’t do what he wanted, including the incestuous behavior, we would never get to heaven.

KC: What happened when you began coming of age?

Joseph: From the time we’re kids on, boys and girls are told that we’re not to have normal relationships. Talking to a girl is a no-no. God doesn’t like boys to talk to girls. It’s not allowed.

KC: What made you decide to leave?

Joseph: For polygamy, they want to keep the girls. By the time we’re teenagers, the leaders have decided which of the boys they’ll keep and which they’ll get rid of. They keep the ones who do what they’re told. Boys who aren’t chosen are forced out.

KC: How?

Joseph: They put a lot of pressure on, a lot of abuse.

KC: What we’re talking about is that there aren’t normally five or ten women to every man. To get the percentage of women to men high enough for polygamy, the leaders have to drive out some of the boys?

Joseph: Yes. They begin harassing the boys they don’t want at a young age, so eventually the boys just give up and leave, even though it’s the only home they’ve ever known. They have to leave their parents, brothers and sisters behind. I dropped out of school young, because they made it so hard for me.

KC: Do you hear from your siblings?

Joseph: No. I’m the only one who left. But when you’re born into it, you don’t know any better. Our mom was a child bride, married off at sixteen.

KC: What do you think about what’s going on in Eldorado, Texas?

Joseph: I’m behind Texas, because of the abuse I’ve suffered. I’m glad they’re doing what they’re doing there.

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