Showing posts with label rape. Show all posts
Showing posts with label rape. Show all posts

Friday, November 29, 2013

Jack Armstrong: Rapist or Just a Guy who "Got Lucky?"

By Pat Brown

I am about to get another round of angry women bashing me for what I am about to say. And I am willing to stick my neck out again because I am so sick and tired of this injustice happening over and over again; men being accused of rape without evidence of any such thing happening. Again, I remind you, I am not saying women are never date raped, that there aren't quite a few men committing this criminal act; I am simply saying, let's stop condemning men without proof. A charge of rape can destroy a man's life just as an actual rape can destroy a woman's, maybe even more so because while she is seen forever as a victim, he is seen forever as a psychopathic criminal sex predator.

Jack Armstrong's name is now mud. He has had the label "rapist" attached to his name in hundreds of news articles like this one from the Los Angeles Times. Essentially, the story says that in 2010, Armstrong met the woman outside of a Beverly Hills bar, they went in and he bought her a few beers, and next thing she knew, she woke up in a hotel room with her pants off and with soreness in her private parts. She felt nauseous.

Based on her story, it is being insinuated that Armstrong roofied the woman's beer and from that moment on, she was unconscious on her feet (and off of it) and he raped her while she was dead to the world.

 Only, if you read this far better article from CBS Los Angeles, maybe not:

Police say he used his celebrity status to attract his victim.
“He met the victim at a bar in West Hollywood,” Beverly Hills police Sgt. Max Subin said. Armstrong took the victim to a hotel and she reported the rape the next day, March 5, 2010, he said.
The attack could have been drug-induced, Subin said.
“She woke up, didn’t feel right and realized she was assaulted,” he said.

So, there is no proof of any date rape drug being used. Either she never got tested for it or the test came back negative. Just because the woman didn't feel right when she woke up, doesn't mean she was given GHB or Rohypnol  - who feels great in the morning after they drank excessively the night before?  We don't know what alcohol she consumed before she had the three beers nor do we know if she also had drugs in her system that she put there her herself.

So, if no rape drug was used, then what do we have? If the woman was so drunk she didn't know Armstrong was having sex with her, maybe she was so drunk she didn't remember she had sex with him! If she can be so drunk not to remember what she was doing since she was in the bar (and obviously walked to the car and into the hotel room), why should we believe she couldn't have had consensual sex in that same state with Armstrong being totally unaware that she was unconscious on her feet? For that matter, if the woman can be so drunk as to not know what she is physically doing, why can't Armstrong be equally as drunk and unknowledgeable? And, while we are at it, how do we know she herself didn't rape Armstrong while he was flat on his back unconscious? It can happen. Please read this study about the repeated claims women make about being roofied not  being proven to be true, that most of the time, binge drinking is really behind the condition of women who can't remember what happened the evening they went out partying. Men do ply women with alcohol because they know it makes them stupid and willing to have sex with them (hence, that Joe Nichols' country song about tequila making her clothes fall off).

To make matters worse, now the police are reaching out to the other women who might have been raped by this rich guy. Don't you think a few psycho women might be motivated to get attention and money from  making such claims?

What I see here is an irresponsible police department and irresponsible media. Unless they actually have a confession from Armstrong, there would appear to be zero evidence to convict this man, but the damage will have already been done to him. I don't know this guy; he may be a sweetie or a total tool. He might brag about his wealth and celebrity status to get women to sleep with him (which is no a crime as the police seem to suggest) or women might throw themselves at him because they love money and fame. What I do know is that if the police don't have proof that Jack Armstrong put a date rape drug in this woman's beer which it appears they do not, all we have is a woman who drank too much, went willingly with a guy to his hotel room, and had buyer's remorse in the morning or saw an opportunity to get attention by filing a false police report. That is NOT rape and it is an insult to women who have been raped to say it is and it is wrong to charge men with rape just because they "got lucky" and after the fact, their luck changed.

PS. All "Shame on you, Pat Brown, for blaming the victim!" comments will be removed for being obtuse and not reading my blog properly. I am not blaming true victims of rape for the crime of rape. The rapist is 100% responsible for the crime. However, in terms of date rape, there are more responsible behaviors women can make that will keep them out of the hands of such criminals, like not getting trash drunk and going to hotel rooms with strangers because you think he wants to just have tea and explore your brilliant mind.


               

How to Save your Daughter's Life by Pat Brown at Amazon or Barnes and Noble and bookstores near you.

Included in this book, a ton of information about

The Early Years
Partying, Drinking, Drugging, Casual Sex (Hooking Up), and Gangs
Date Rape
The Dangers of Social Networking and the Internet
Risky Relationships
Stalkers
Child Predators, Serial Rapists, and Serial Killers
The Sex Trade and Sex Trafficking




Wednesday, March 20, 2013

'Teach Your Sons Not To Rape'

by Pat Brown

There have been many very angry women expressing this sentiment following the Steubenville, Ohio conviction of the two high school football players who sexually assaulted a very drunk and near comatose young lady and then proceeded to threaten and humiliate her via social media. There is ample evidence in this case against these young men and that these two creeps were found guilty makes me very happy, Often, in these date or acquaintance type rape crimes, it is a he said-she said situation and it is very difficult to prove a rape or sexual assault actually occurred, that the alleged victim didn't  participate consensually in the act. A Montana college student and  football player was recently found not guilty because there simply wasn't ample proof the girl didn't want sex with him. I thought that verdict was correct.

But in the wake of these cases, I see a lot of furious women mad as hell about anyone recommending that they should educate their daughters on how to keep themselves from getting attacked. These angry women say, "Why do we have to keep teaching our daughters this stuff? Why can't YOU teach your sons not to rape?"

Umm, ladies, you can't teach your sons not to rape. You can't have a birds and a bees discussion and say, "By the way, don't rape girls; it's not nice."

If your son doesn't know that "no means no," and that having sex with unconscious girls is sick and criminal, you have a little psychopath on your hands and he doesn't give a crap about what you say. You lost him years ago when he was a little boy.

What we all SHOULD be are good parents, ones who teach both sons and daughters to be decent people, - kind and respectful, empathetic and law-abiding. When these children get to be teens and adults, they don't commit crimes. I did not have a talk with my sons about not raping girls; they would have been appalled that I would even have considered it necessary to tell them that. I didn't have a talk with my daughter about not tricking a guy into getting her pregnant and to not stalk and kill her boyfriend like Jodi Arias; she would have said, "Just what kind of girl do you think I am, Mom?"

I started giving lessons in morality and ethics when my children were very young, teaching them not to hit, not to be poor sports, to be polite, to not be bullies, to not take what isn't theirs, to not be greedy, to be willing to share, and so on. I started when they were at the breast ("don't bite Mommy") and then kept them from thinking it was okay to pull the cat's tail when they learned to crawl and grab. I kept up the lessons in how to be a decent human being all through their childhood and into their teens. But,  I never had to tell them not to shoplift, steal cars, burglarize the neighbors' homes, set fires, or sell drugs. And I didn't have to tell my boys not to rape. Why? Because I hadn't raised psychopaths or criminals. If you really think you need to have a "rape" conversation with your son, you dropped the ball long, long ago.

And since there are enough young men out in the world who are past the point of moral return and the justice system cannot catch them all and keep them locked up, I will continue to encourage parents to teach their daughters how to keep from getting raped and sexually assaulted. Just because young men should never do bad things, doesn't mean some aren't going to. Being angry about it isn't going to keep your daughter from becoming a victim. So, in spite of a number of angry bloggers who attacked my book, How to Save Your Daughter's Life, for educating parents on how to keep their daughters safe, I am going to keep on educating young women and their parents because I know sex predators are out there - in the high schools, in the colleges, in the neighborhood, and in the home. As a female, I, too, am frustrated at having so many sexual crimes perpetrated against women and I am all for coming down harder on these sex offenders with a much tougher criminal justice system, but, right now, the reality is such that we women have to do what we can to not end up a victims of horrible crimes that will ruin our lives.

Just because some parents need to do a better job raising their sons doesn't mean we should stop doing the job of raising our daughters.They need our help keeping them safe.
               

How to Save your Daughter's Life by Pat Brown at Amazon or Barnes and Noble and bookstores near you.

Included in this book, a ton of information about

The Early Years
Partying, Drinking, Drugging, Casual Sex (Hooking Up), and Gangs
Date Rape
The Dangers of Social Networking and the Internet
Risky Relationships
Stalkers
Child Predators, Serial Rapists, and Serial Killers
The Sex Trade and Sex Trafficking



Monday, February 7, 2011

Rape and the U.S. Congress


Angela, age 15, loved to dance hip-hop with her girlfriends. She earned good grades in school and got along well with her parents and her brothers. On a Saturday night, she left to spend the night at her girlfriend's house. Angela and her friend heard about another party, with boys, a few blocks away. The girls sneaked out of the house and went to the boy's party. One cute boy gave her a drink. She doesn't remember much more about that evening except waking up in a large closet, naked from the waist down, with blood running down her legs. She told me she hurt "down there," and her legs were covered with bruises.

Angela dressed, found her friend and left the party. They sneaked back to her friend's house and, after talking for hours, they fell asleep. The girls agreed to not talk about what happened. They didn't want to get into any trouble with their parents. Angela's parents might keep her away from her friend's house. It would prove terribly embarrassing to talk about the incident, and perhaps nothing bad really happened.

After a few weeks of vomiting, missing school and feeling weak, Angela's mother took her to the doctor. After a few tests, they heard the staggering news: Angela was pregnant. The family sought my help shortly after the pregnancy diagnosis. Angela had tried to convince herself that nothing had happened to her. Perhaps she got drunk and did it to herself. The pregnancy confirmed that she was a victim of rape. Angela, who had never experienced any kind of sexual intimacy with the exception of an awkward kiss, now found herself pregnant at 15.

Angela was drugged and, while unconscious, raped by an unknown attacker. Rape, or sexual assault, often goes unreported. According to the Rape, Abuse and Incest National Network (RAINN), 60 percent of rapes are never reported to authorities. Victims often secretly struggle for the rest of their lives with the physical, mental and emotional scars. Teen girls like Angela fear the stigma of "damaged goods." Some worry that their drug and alcohol use will get them into trouble. Others opt to bury the secret to avoid burdening their families.

To understand why rape victims often never report it, read this rip-out-your-guts story, Stalking the Bogeyman, by David Holthouse. He planned the murder of his rapist because of his lifelong rage and fear. Yes, rape happens to men too (one in 33 men and one in six women). Rape damages the minds and bodies of both men and women. The difference is men don't get pregnant.

Now we come to the U.S. Congress part of our story. Representative Chris Smith, (R-N.J.) introduced HR-3, titled the "No Taxpayer Funding For Abortion Act." This bill currently has 173 co-sponsors. The ever-weepy House Speaker John Boehner (R-Ohio) has made passage of this bill a top priority. Since 1976, federal laws restricting the use of federal funds for abortions have included exemptions in the case of rape, incest and pregnancies that endanger the life of the woman. HR-3 originally aimed to change the language to exemptions for "forcible rape." Forcible rape (not a legal term) redefines rape as something using force rather than the more appropriate term, sexual assault, that can include rape while the victim is unconscious. They subsequently backed down after hearing an outcry from victims advocates. The writers of the bill intend to foment political division to weaken and destroy the Affordable Care Act. The Affordable Care Act is a sane and sensible law that actually solves some serious problems and helps Americans.

Women have fought long and hard for the rights of rape victims. Some survivors still experience blame, stigma, social isolation, physical abuse and public humiliation. Rape violates a woman's sense of control over her own body. Victims often feel victimized again by the court system. This bill puts another barrier between a woman and her own body.

The bill (HR-3) eliminates the incest exemption if the mother is over 18 and aims to eliminate tax deductions on private health insurance that includes abortion benefits. Currently, 87 percent of private policies include some type of abortion coverage. Sponsors of the bill hope to force private insurance companies to eliminate any coverage of abortion.

Abortion is such a painful, difficult issue with a long history. Sensitive people on both sides, pro-life and pro-choice, make reasoned arguments. I regularly donate to The Door of Hope, a safe haven for pregnant teens. These programs make it possible for abused and indigent youth to carry their babies to term in a healthy environment. These programs do more to prevent abortions than this worthless, waste-of-time law. If Rep. Smith really cared about preventing abortions and serving the people why not propose a law to increase funding for programs like The Door of Hope?

A recent poll found the top three issues of concern to Americans today are:
  • Unemployment
  • The economy
  • Health care
A Harvard study found that medical bills are the leading cause of bankruptcy in America. Millions face unemployment, home foreclosures, unaffordable insurance and the loss of their life savings. The nation is fighting two wars, a great recession and a mushrooming deficit. Why is it the top legislative priority of this Congress to make life even more difficult for poor women?

Photos courtesy of straightpost.com and theepochtimes.com.


Wednesday, August 4, 2010

My Hero, Antoine Dodson! Bed Intruder Defender!

by Pat Brown

Now, if you don't know who Antoine Dodson is by now, you are living under a rock or your Internet provider is on the blink.

Last time I posted here on Women in Crime Ink, I wrote about how I was a bit peeved (I love that word. I wasn't bitter or bent all of shape; I was just a bit peeved!) that Colton Harris-Moore, the criminal called The Barefoot Bandit, had more Facebook friends than I have! After all, I do a lot of television and radio work, and since my new book, The Profiler: My Life Hunting Serial Killers and Psychopaths, went on sale, I've worked hard to make my publisher happy. Part of that is keeping up with social networking, blogging, and doing all the television and radio I can. Then some lowlife piece of crap who has cost the taxpayers thousands and thousands of dollars, squandered police resources, and stolen citizens' possessions and their sense of security, gets a Facebook fan page written for him, huge publicity, and his poor-excuse-for-a-mother gets a huge book and movie deal.

Sometimes life just didn't seem fair, does it? The uncomfortable truth is that crime does pay at times, and it seems a lot of people support antiheroes more than heroes.

But hol' up now! Here comes Antoine! Heralding from the projects of Huntsville, Alabama, this young man ended up on local television for one of those short interviews, the type where a relative speaks on camera about a neighborhood crime, illustrating how horrible it was and insisting they hope the police will quickly catch the guy. The usual scenario is that the interviewee gets his 15 seconds (never 15 minutes) of fame, and his family and a few of his friends chortle over his appearance. By morning, the fellow and his run-of-the-mill statement are forgotten.

Not Antoine Dodson. He did his brief appearance in front of the camera and began a phenomenon. As I write this blog post (just after midnight on Tuesday morning), his new facebook fan page (put up by someone not connected to Antoine or his family) already has more than 18,000 fans! No, wait, that was 15 minutes ago. Now, he has 18,050! By the time you read this post, I can't even imagine the number.

Please understand that I'm not bitter about all his Facebook friends or that he'll probably have his own television show by the end of the week; envious as hell, but not bitter! In fact, I'm a huge Antoine Dodson fan. I want one of those mugs with his face on it and a t-shirt with his words. I even want the ringtone of The Bed Intruder song (which I tried to download twice and got scammed by two ringtone companies who only wrote in small print that THAT ringtone was not available). I admit it, I am caught up in the Antoine Dodson fever.

Don't know who I'm talking about? This is Antoine who rescued his sister, Kelly, from a rapist before he did her any damage, chased him out of the apartment. As one blogger noted, "Rape is never funny, except when Antoine Dodson is involved."

Well, even attempted rape isn't funny, but Antoine's warning to the community and to the rapist will just put you ROFL unless you ain't got no sense of humor!

Antoine let the people know: "Obviously, we have a rapist in Lincoln Park. He's climbing in your windows. He's snatching up yo people, trying to rape them. So you need to hide yo kids, hide yo wife, and and hide yo husband because they be raping errybody out here."

And he mocked the rapist (something I am always fond of) and threatened him, too (and I am really fond of that).

"We got your t-shirt. You left fingerprints and all. You are so dumb. You are really dumb. For real. You don't have to come and confess that you did this. We're looking for you. We, we 'gon find you. So you can run and tell that, homeboy!”

Reading the words just doesn't quite do it; you have to watch the video.

Now, at this point I was somewhere between laughing myself to death and being totally impressed that this man stood up and just told it straight. Then, someone had to come out with the music video called Bed Intruder Song. God help me, I cannot stop watching the video over and over. I sing along with it. Now I know what crack does to you. I gotta have the damn ringtone! "Hide yo kids, hide your wife, and hide yo husband because they be raping errybody out here!" Oh, Lord, stop me from hitting the replay button so I can get some work done.

I thank you, Antoine, for being a good man and just being you. We all love you for giving us one of the best cheerer-uppers of the year and reminding us that even when bad things happen and evil people cause misery, there are rays of hope and humor and happiness that shine through the dark clouds.

You go, Antoine! The millions who have seen the videos on YouTube thank you and so do all your facebook fans (I clicked the like button too), and all the crime fighters out there. And as soon as the Bed Intruder ringtone actually becomes available, I am sure your voice will be coming out of my telephone every time someone calls.

Sometimes someone just makes you feel good!


Thursday, June 24, 2010

The Unexpected Knight


by Pat Brown

I know Father's Day has passed, but I want to tell you a story about a knight in shining armor. Well, okay, tarnished armor, and he came riding a Metrobus, had trouble staying gainfully employed, and had a few minor scrapes with the law. When I first met him, I thought he was an opportunist, a petty criminal who was taking advantage of a beautiful, naive woman. I will call him "Charles" and the lady, "Diana."

I interpreted for Diana for quite a few years at the hospital. She was a sweet, African-American deaf woman who had a difficult childhood growing up in foster homes. It wasn't that she was a problem child; she was simply abandoned to the system. When she became an adult, she lacked education and job skills, and she struggled to survive, living in less than great circumstances. And then, as happens far too often to women, especially those who are targeted because they can't hear you coming, she was raped.

But Diana kept her head up. She believed in God and in good, and she didn't let what had happened to her destroy her soul. Then she met Charles. A hearing man who knew no sign language, he still managed to woo her and within a short period of time, he married her.

By the time Diana introduced me to Charles, she was working a steady job and he was getting into trouble here and there, landing himself in jail on occasion. I wondered whether he saw this Deaf woman as a good mark, someone to take advantage of. He moved into her apartment, and I thought he might be mooching off of her, using her income which included disability checks. I wondered how well he treated Diana, if he abused her or cheated on her. Finally, one day, I found out just what kind of man Charles really was.

Diana was pregnant with their first child. Together they came in for her appointment and to get results from the various tests run on pregnant women. The two were waiting in the room with me when the doctor walked in. He sat down and started reading the results from the paper in front of him; he didn't raise his head to make eye contact. As soon as I saw his demeanor, I knew what was coming.

I interpreted. "I am sorry to tell you that your HIV test came back positive."

I will never forget what happened next. Shock registered on both their faces, and Charles's hands flew up to the side of his head, framing his horrified expression. Then he stood up and abruptly walked out of the room, leaving his wife alone with me.

Tears started sliding down Diana's cheeks and she asked, "Why? Why me? Why now?" I had no answer for her. I moved over next to her and put my arm around her, and she cried quietly onto my shoulder. Minutes passed and I wondered what this poor woman was going to do.

Then the door opened and Charles came back in and sat back down in his chair, grim-faced.

I moved away from Diana and sat down in my seat again.

Diana turned to look at Charles and started signing. I interpreted because, while Charles had learned a little sign language, he would not be able to understand what Diana was saying at a time like this.

"Charles," she signed, "if you want to leave me, I understand." She looked resigned already, simply waiting for confirmation.

Charles looked at her and shook his head and as he spoke, Diana turned to watch my hands to see his answer.

"Diana," he said quietly and strongly. "You are my wife. I love you. I will never leave you."

The look on Diana's face, the astonishment, the happiness, overcame the cruel sentence of the test results. Her knight in shining armor had shown up, even though he had been there all along.

Ten years have passed since that day and just a couple of months ago, a car drove up to my house and Charles and Diana got out, along with their daughter and son. We spent a wonderful evening together. The children were lovely, well-behaved kids, and their parents clearly adored them. Diana looked healthy and happy. Both Charles and Diana are gainfully employed and while they aren't rich by any means, they have a home full of love.

When they left, Charles helped Diana and the children into the car and then ran back to me.

"Those kids don't know how lucky they are," he said to me. "And you know what I mean," And then he winked at me, ran back to his waiting family, jumped in the car and drove off.

Victims of crimes often suffer financial, physical and emotional loss. But the worst of these three is the pain of destroyed relationships, of spouses and significant others bailing out because they don't want to deal with their mates' issues or their own issues. Diana suffered loss after her rape, but she was blessed with the kind of man every woman hopes will be there when the chips are down and the road ahead is going to be tough.

I wish every other woman in this world who ends up a victim of a sexual assault would get her own knight in shining armor; one special loving man, just like Charles.


Wednesday, April 29, 2009

National Crime Victims' Rights Week - Part I

by Lucy Puryear, M.D

In honor of National Crime Victims' Rights Week, I would like to present a case of mine that tells the inside story of someone suffering from being the victim of crime. In Part One, I will present her story. In Part Two tomorrow, I will discuss the case and talk about the after effects of incest and rape. This is a real story, although details have been changed and identifying features altered to protect confidentiality.

Elizabeth was a young girl of three when her stepfather began molesting her. She doesn't remember much about those early years, but has vague memories of being scared at night and not wanting to be left alone with her stepfather. Her mother told her that she was frequently treated for urinary tract infections when she was little.

At the age of five, Elizabeth remembers her stepfather calling to her from the garage, "Come help me fix your brother's bike." She was both excited and uneasy. Excited that her stepfather was asking for her help and uneasy that she would be alone with him, away from the eyes of her mother. "Come on, we'll go for ice cream afterwards." It was the first time she remembers her stepfather putting his fingers inside of her and more. It wouldn't be the last.

The abuse happened until she was thirteen. It stopped when her mother and stepfather divorced and her mother and she moved out of town. She never told her mother or a teacher or her best friend. Her stepfather told her not to tell or he'd kill her mother. She believed him and kept her mouth shut.

Elizabeth got good grades in school, was in Girl Scouts, and sang in the church choir. No one ever asked her if there was anything wrong. No doctor ever questioned her urinary tract infections. Her mother never wondered why Elizabeth tried to avoid being alone in the house with her stepfather.

In high school, Elizabeth started getting in trouble. She started hanging out with the "cool" kids and would meet up with her friends to smoke pot before school started. Drinking and other drugs followed and her grades began to slip. Drinking and drugging were an everyday occurrence and sex with any boy who showed her some attention was not uncommon.

Elizabeth's mother couldn't understand why her daughter was acting so out of character. She had been a sweet child and always willing to do any chore that was asked of her. She never complained and seemed to get along with everybody. Although Elizabeth never seemed very popular or had friends over to the house, her mother thought it was just because she was shy and liked spending time with her mother. She considered them to be very close.

In college, things seemed to turn around. She was able to get a scholarship to a small college out of town. Elizabeth decided it was time to turn her life around and put the past behind her. She made great grades and some good friends. No more drugs or alcohol and no more promiscuity. She was determined to go to law school and make something of herself. She wasn't going to be a victim to what happened to her as a child.

In law school, Elizabeth was studying late one night in the law library. Constitutional law was her most difficult and most interesting class. She wanted to do well in the hopes of getting a prestigious clerkship.

"I wanted my mom to be proud of me again. I know I had let her down when I was in high school. I was a really bad kid and caused her lots of grief," she told me on her first visit to my office. "I was raped that night. I caused her grief again."

Elizabeth was referred to me three months after she was attacked and sexually assaulted by a man who accosted her as she walked across the semi-dark campus. She didn't recognize the man and was unable to recall any distinguishing features. She just remembered his voice telling her not to scream or he would kill her. She thinks he had a knife but was too frightened to check. When he finished he told Elizabeth not to move for an hour or he would come back for her. She lay there for what seemed like forever before she found the nerve to walk home. She did not report the assault to the police.

"I was just in the wrong place at the wrong time," she said. "It was stupid of me to be walking alone that night. I was just asking for trouble, at least he didn't try to kill me. It could have been a lot worse."

Elizabeth had taken a leave of absence from law school and moved back home to be with her mother. She had not told the school about the assault, only saying that she was ill and would need to take some time off.

In my office I saw a woman severely depressed. She wouldn't look me in the eye, sat on my couch wringing her hands, and couldn't stop crying. She had lost twenty-five pounds in the last three months and was close to being hospitalized for the effects of malnutrition. Elizabeth kept repeating over and over again, "It's all my fault, it's always been my fault."

Please share your thoughts and feelings about Elizabeth and how you might go about helping her. In Part II tomorrow, I'll post my thoughts and relate how Elizabeth is doing.