'Twas The Day After Thanksgiving

by Donna Pendergast

'Twas the day after Thanksgiving and all through the land

The shoppers were awake, the agenda was planned

The coffee was brewing, the tennies were laced

The stores would soon open, around the house they all raced

The stores were all decked out with flash holiday flair

with hope that the shoppers would soon buy their fare

And Mom with her coupons and dad with his cash

had compiled a list for the mad morning dash

When all of a sudden there arose such a clatter

Mall doors were now open, 'twas all that would matter

The crowd surged ahead in a frenzy quite crazy

Not a place for the weak and worse for the lazy.

Holiday lights in the window of a once simple store

gave the luster of magic to something quite plain before

When what to my wondering eyes should appear

But a runaway mob propelled from the rear.

Push forward, move faster, don't worry where you tread

Don't look back, don't falter, think bargains ahead

From outside the front door, for the length of the mall

Now dash away, dash away, dash away all.

Like leaves in the middle of a wild tornado fly

run for the shops, many presents to buy

Super special sale and bargains galore

but you need to move quickly and get through the door

Then in a twinkling, a voice on the mike

Door buster special, something you'll like

You need to get this deal, you need to buy more

But you better move fast, only five units per store."

So off to that aisle, shoppers flew in a flash

I'm going to get me one and save tons of cash

But I only can do it by fighting off the crowd

I need to be brazen, I musn't be cowed.

As boxes fly  into carts full of loot

get out of the way or I'll give you a boot

I need to get this deal, my kid needs this toy

And I'm on a mission to search and destroy
.

Don't you know it's Black Friday, only one thing to say?

Survival of the fittest is the order of the day

I'm going for the deals, I want only the best

I can't stop or falter, I can't take a rest.

Up and down the corridors, until plum out of steam

I got all my bargains, my haul is a dream

I'm done hitting stores from morning to night

Merry Christmas to all, you put up a good fight.

Black Friday is one of the most anticipated shopping days of the year for bargain-hunting shoppers. It's a time to hit the stores and officially launch the holiday shopping season. But criminals look forward to the shopping season for a very different reason. Based on experience I can tell you that they are hoping to take advantage and prey on shoppers. Be a smart shopper and heed these safety tips:

1. Avoid the ATM. Early Friday morning is no time to be hitting the money machine for a dose of cash. If you absolutely need to visit the ATM, be safe about it. Use a well-lit ATM inside an open establishment. Be especially mindful of anyone who appears to be watching you near an ATM. Also be aware of anything that seems unusual about the ATM machine itself. Criminals have become adept at rigging ATM machines to trap your card which they will extract from the rigged machine after you walk away. They can later use it by entering your pin number which they have learned by either watching you punch it in up close or watching from afar with binoculars.

2. Be Alert. Pay attention to surroundings and keep an eye out for any unusual activity. Park under lights and shop with a buddy. If you have to exit your car in a dark parking lot, wait for a crowd that is heading toward the store or mall as well.

3. Keep your purse close to your body and tightly shut. I have personally been the victim of a pickpocket who was so adroit that he was able to lift my wallet out of my purse while it was on my shoulder. I never felt a thing. Keep a tight leash on your purse and be alert in crowds and aware of persons bumping up against you. A neat tip for your purse if you are putting it in a shopping cart. Put it in the child seat area and lace the seatbelt straps through the purse handle and lock them. This prevents a thief from running by and grabbing it on the run.

4. Don't fight. Black Friday can bring out the worst in shoppers. A good deal is not worth a physical altercation.

Be safe out there tomorrow. Happy shopping, and remember, people. it's only stuff!  Today, think of what's really important and be thankful for what you already have.

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'Twas the Day After Thanksgiving...

by Donna Pendergast

'Twas the day after Thanksgiving and all through the land

The shoppers were wide awake, the agenda was planned

The coffee was brewing, the tennis shoes were laced

The stores would soon open, around the house they all raced.

The stores were all decked out with flash holiday flair

with hope that the shoppers would soon buy their fare

And Mom with her coupons and dad with his cash

had compiled a list for the mad morning dash.

When all of a sudden there arose such a clatter

Mall doors were now open, twas all that would matter

The crowd surged ahead in a frenzy quite crazy

Not a place for the weak and worse for the lazy.

Holiday lights in the window of a once simple store

gave the luster of magic to something quite plain before

When what to my wondering eyes should appear

But a runaway mob propelled from the rear.

Push forward, move faster, don't worry where you tread

Don't look back, don't falter, think bargains ahead

From outside the front door, for the length of the mall

Now dash away, dash away, dash away all.

Like leaves in the middle of a wild tornado fly

run for the shops, many presents to buy

Super special sale and bargains galore

but you need to move quickly and get through the door.

Then in a twinkling, a voice on the mike

"Door buster special, something you'll like

You need to get this deal, you need to buy more

But you better move fast, only five units per store."

So on to the display, shoppers flew in a flash

I'm going to get one and save tons of cash

But I only can do it by fighting off the crowd

I need to be brazen, I musn't be cowed.

As boxes fly off the shelf, into carts full of loot

get out of the way or I'll give you a boot

I need to get this deal, my kid needs this toy

And I'm on a mission to search and destroy.

Don't you know it's Black Friday, only one thing to say?

Survival of the fittest is the order of the day

I'm going for the deals, I want only the best

I can't stop or falter, I can't take a rest.

Up and down the corridors, until plum out of steam

I got all my bargains, my haul is a dream

I'm done hitting stores from morning to night

Merry Christmas to all, you put up a good fight.

Black Friday is one of the most anticipated shopping days of the year for bargain-hunting shoppers. It's a time to hit the stores and officially launch the holiday shopping season. But criminals look forward to the shopping season for a very different reason. Based on experience I can tell you that they are hoping to take advantage and prey on shoppers. Be a smart shopper and heed these safety tips:

1. Avoid the ATM. Early Friday morning is no time to be hitting the money machine for a dose of cash. If you absolutely need to visit the ATM, be safe about it. Use a well-lit ATM inside an open establishment. Be especially mindful of anyone who appears to be watching you near an ATM. Also be aware of anything that seems unusual about the ATM machine itself. Criminals have become adept at rigging ATM machines to trap your card which they will extract from the rigged machine after you walk away. They can later use it by entering your pin number which they have learned by either watching you punch it in up close or watching from afar with binoculars.
2. Be Alert. Pay attention to surroundings and keep an eye out for any unusual activity. Park under lights and shop with a buddy. If you have to exit your car in a dark parking lot, wait for a crowd that is heading toward the store or mall as well.
   
3. Keep your purse close to your body and tightly shut. I have personally been the victim of a pickpocket who was so adroit that he was able to lift my wallet out of my purse while it was on my shoulder. I never felt a thing. Keep a tight leash on your purse and be alert in crowds and aware of persons bumping up against you. A neat tip for your purse if you are putting it in a shopping cart. Put it in the child seat area and lace the seatbelt straps through the purse handle and lock them. This prevents a thief from running by and grabbing it on the run.
   
4. Don't fight. Black Friday can bring out the worst in shoppers. A good deal is not worth a physical altercation.

Be safe out there today, and happy shopping!

Statements made in this post are my own and are not intended to reflect the views, opinion or position of the Michigan Attorney General or the Michigan Department of Attorney General.

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The Forever Storm, and a Thanksgiving Prayer

by Susan Murphy Milano

Last year at this time, Karen Kahler of Columbia, Kansas, was finishing her workday and making plans to head out the next day with her daughter, Emily 18, Lauren, 16, and son, Sean, 10, for Thanksgiving. Their plan was to visit Dorothy Wright, 89, Karen's grandmother, in Burlingame, Kansas, for the holiday weekend. Karen had filed for divorce earlier in the year from her violent and abusive husband, and this was to be the first holiday away from Kraig Kahler since their marriage.

Thanksgiving day was without incident for Karen, 47 (pictured above with her daughters), and it was first real taste of freedom, away from the constant monitoring, via texting, phone calls and following she had endured. Karen and her family planned activities and enjoyed their time together with a great sense of peace. When Saturday rolled around, they spent the day in town and then headed back to Grandma’s to have dinner.

On November 28, 2009, while placing a roast in the oven, the front door swung open and the sound of bullets and screams filled the home. Hours earlier, according to authorities, Kraig Kahler had been outside, waiting for the perfect moment to kill his family. Investigators say Karen was shot first, then Lauren, Grandma Wright and, finally, Emily. In the chaos, Sean managed to escape, unharmed, running to a nearby neighbor for help.

At approximately 6:15 pm, officers were summoned to the home in Burlingame, where Karen was dead and three others were wounded. They were transported to a Topeka hospital, where Lauren and Emily died soon after arriving, and Grandma died a few days later.

For Sean Kahler, this is not only his first Thanksgiving without his mom, sisters and grandmother, it is a holiday he would rather forget. For as long as this young man lives, Thanksgiving and, frankly, his life, will be extremely difficult.

As hard as he tries to simply go on and live his life, something will undoubtedly always remind Sean of the tragedy. It could be something as innocent as the way a door is left open or hearing a mom call out to her son in a park. Perhaps a special song favored by his sisters will come on the radio. It takes so little for a victim of a violent crime to be reminded; the pain is like a permanent tattoo that can't be removed.

Some days will be better than others for Sean. At times, the pain will undoubtedly stalk him like his worst enemy. Only this isn't a presence Sean can simply order to go away. He'll never be able to run from it, in particular, on every Thanksgiving.

Unfortunately, his pain will be further magnified by the pending murder trial of his father. Sean Kahler, the lone survivor, is expected to be a key witness for the prosecution. After a handful of hearings, a court date is scheduled in December to determine if Sean can testify outside the courtroom by video camera. In my opinion, there should be no debate; Sean should not be forced to face the person who murdered his entire world.

Today, as you gather with family, my wish is for you to stop for a moment and say a prayer for Sean Kahler. Take a moment to leave words of hope and strength for Sean on this post. This young man has so little left to be thankful for. Pray that he can find peace one day and be thankful that his life was spared.

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Thanksgiving and Dads

by Diane Fanning

It's difficult to think about Thanksgiving without thinking about your dad. I can still see him standing at the end of the loaded dining room table, hovering over a golden turkey, a large knife and piercing fork poised in the air. He'd pause as he calculated just the right angle and the perfect place to sink the blade.

He'd slice the breast in consistently thin pieces--I still don't know how he managed that. Then, he'd masterfully separate one drumstick and then the other, passing one to my brother and placing the second leg on his plate.

I also remember the sad Thanksgiving. The one where we had hot dogs and baked beans. My Dad worked at the Baltimore Fisher Body plant of General Motors. Every year in August, he'd be laid off for two or three weeks while they turned over the machines to accommodate that year's new models. During that particular year, his union went on strike the same day he was supposed to return to work. On Thanksgiving, he still was without work, without pay and with three kids to feed. We were lucky to get the hot dogs. It made all of us appreciate the turkey even more when the next Thanksgiving rolled around.

Now, all I have of my Dad are memories. He passed away in 2005. At first, my father-in-law filled in the Dad gap. Then last year, he died, too. Both men suffered through years of progressively worsening dementia. They inspired my fourth Lucinda Pierce mystery, Twisted Reason.

It appears that their inspiration led me in the right direction. Publishers Weekly wrote: "Edgar-finalist Fanning skillfully illuminates the heartbreaking challenges facing Alzheimer’s victims and their families in her fourth mystery featuring Virginia homicide detective Lucinda Pierce."

In Kirkus Reviews: "As usual, Fanning poses Lucinda a quirky mystery, this time providing a thoughtful look at the stress of those caring for loved ones with dementia."

In this week of Thanksgiving, I am thankful for the encouragement and inspiration dads give their daughters, and for the special insight that I received from two terrific Dads: Leon Butcher and Bill Fanning.

Happy Thanksgiving.

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'Tis The Season To Be Anxious

by Gina Simmons, Ph.D.

Anna, age 12, sat in my office twisting her friendship bracelet while listing her fears. "My grandma shops alone and robbers could attack her. My mom lights candles and I'm afraid they'll catch fire and burn us up. If we fly, terrorists might kill us." A gifted, sensitive, well-read child, Anna suffers from anxiety. Symptoms of anxiety include fatigue, irritability, insomnia, heart palpitations, gastro-intestinal disturbances and excessive worry.

Psychologists say that anxious people tend to anticipate negative outcomes. They notice the look of disapproval on a busy clerk's face or the tone of disappointment when a friend opens her gift. This heightened sensitivity can produce inner conflict that fuels toxic anxiety. "Did I get the wrong item? Should I offer to exchange the gift?" The anxious mind buzzes by over-thinking everything, anticipating the worst.

Holiday times require us to change our routines. The increased demands on our schedule to shop, cook, prepare for guests, or make travel arrangements can trigger anger and anxiety. Holidays stress our budgets, stretch our waistlines and strain our relationships. Couples argue about visits with in-laws. Singles battle loneliness. Children fight for attention.

Anxiety around the holidays feels especially bitter because of the expectation of joyous celebration, family harmony and luxurious gifts. Sandwiched between ads for delicious turkey feasts are news reports warning elderly shoppers to watch for pickpockets, purse snatchers and dishonest clerks. Instead of merely worrying about the home invasion burglar or the traditional mugger, we can now fret about:

• Identity theft
• Computer worms and viruses
• Airport body scans
• Domestic terrorism

OK, everyone....breathe in.....breathe out......imagine a quiet, peaceful place. Anxiety takes a toll on the body. Scientists measure this stress, or allostatic load, by looking at blood pressure, waist-to-hip ratio, blood cholesterol, glucose metabolism, cortisol and nor-epinephrine levels. If you don't score within normal limits on these measures, it can predict brain deficits two years later. Seriously, two years later. Our physical and mental health depends on our ability to bring anxiety and stress within normal limits. To keep holiday stress manageable:

• Banish expectations. When we expect courteous, prompt service, thoughtful gifts and well-mannered children we're bound to feel disappointed.
• Simplify. Do you really need a partridge in a pear tree?
• Focus on values. Make decisions based on your priorities. Perhaps it's more important to forgo the traditional thanksgiving to spend quality time with an ill relative.
• Honor the temple of your soul. Your body houses the only life form you've got. It needs nutrients, sleep, exercise. Neglect it at your peril.
• Practice mindfulness. Focus on the present moment, without evaluating that moment. Mindfulness lowers anxiety by pulling the mind away from worries about the future by focusing on immediate reality. I notice the sound my fingers make on the keyboard, my fidgety legs....

Holidays bring back unhappy memories for many people. Victims of holiday crimes often experience flashbacks and anxiety at the first sign of Santa. It helps to get lots of support from friends and family. A visit to a trusted psychotherapist can help soothe symptoms of anxiety. To avoid becoming a victim of holiday crime follow these tips:

• Stay aware. Don't talk or text on cell phone while shopping. Distracted shoppers make easy targets.
• Shop with a cane for self-defense.
• Watch the fatigue factor. Tired shoppers are accident prone, lose wallets, forget to put the credit card away, etc.
• Shop with a buddy or only during daylight hours.
• Don't purchase from online pop-ups. Instead go directly to reputable websites to shop.

Despite the tsunami of worrisome stories on the news, we can still enjoy ourselves this holiday season. Never underestimate the power of fun and a good laugh.

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Giving Thanks in an Imperfect World

by Pat Brown

I am alone tonight (with my four cats) in the suburbs of Washington DC. I have a chance to reflect about my life, about all of our lives on this planet, to think back on a year of communal struggle with recession, fear, crime, and war. I think of what I have to give thanks for. I wonder what victims of crime and families who have suffered loss of loved ones can give thanks for. And I find there is always something if we break down our lives into moments instead of results.

I met a woman the other day at the movie theatre and we chatted for a while as we walked toward our cars in the parking lot. She told me how she felt life and the people she loved had let her down; that her life seemed a failure. I asked her how she would describe a vacation where she saw the most beautiful sunset on the beach, had a delightful picnic in a butterfly reserve, attended a fabulous musical show during the first half of the trip but during the second half it rained every day, the people at the hotel were rude, the dinner at the restaurant was horrible and then she fell down the steps while sightseeing and broke her foot.

When she told me she would view the vacation as a terrible one. I asked why she discounted the worth of the wonderful experiences she had during the first half? She smiled and said, "Well, I guess because the trip wasn't perfect and it didn't end well." Welcome to life.

We can all makes lists of bad things and good things that happen to us on our journey through the years. Some of us will have longer good lists, and some longer bad lists, but most of us will have a fair amount on both sides. And in those lists, we will have different qualities of experience, some mildly pleasant and some magnificant, some slighty disappointing and some devastating. Sometimes a bad experience will lead to a good one and vice versa. Isn't life fascinating?

I had a tubal pregnancy and infertility that led to the adoption of my third child. I had a difficult divorce that led me to a wonderfully close relationship with my sister and her husband and a whole new set of friends. Each door that closed was painful, but each door that opened was an adventure.

If we view life as a series of short stories instead of a novel, we can expect to have some chapters that are humorous, some romantic, some challenging, some exciting, some tragic, some spiritual, and some bittersweet. And we never know when one chapter will end and another will begin.

Today, as we spend time with friends and family or find ourselves alone with God, please let us remember to be thankful for each chapter of our lives and grateful for the people who have shared our stories with us for whatever time we had together.

Crime will return to Women in Crime Ink tomorrow, but for now, I wish you all a great Thanksgiving with your loved ones, and for those who are suffering the absence of a loved one, may your memories be comforting.

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