Risky Business - Partying in Underwear Is Not Cool

by Cassie Nelson

In 1983's Risky Business, Tom Cruise made a high school boy partying in private in his underwear the stuff of Hollywood legend. Twenty-seven years later, a junior and a senior at Dr. Michael Krop Senior High School thought it would be fun to throw a "lingerie party," which amounted to a night of extensive promiscuity as teens partied in their panties. And, in 2010, there was nothing private about it.

The Valentine's Day weekend party was held at former strip club in a seedy neighborhood in Miami, Florida. The theme and surroundings encouraged teens to drink heavily, wear hardly anything, and act outrageously. The price of admission: $25, and all of the underclassmen at my school were paying.

In class, I overheard three sophomore guys describe what they would be wearing: “Red silk boxers, no shirt, and a bow-tie.” Boys talked about the abs they'd been doing every night so they'd look good for the girls, who'd hardly be wearing anything at all. One guy even said he would be shaving his stomach for the occasion.

Although they just wanted to go out and have fun, these young adults were either completely unaware of the possible repercussions of their actions, or they just didn't care. The day after the party, pictures of them intoxicated and scantily clad would be all over Facebook, the world's largest social networking website. Only when it affects them in the future will they realize what they've done to themselves and each other. 

"Sexting" is already a massive issue at my school. Every few months, pictures of a naked girl spread through the school within minutes, until everyone, whether they want to or not, has seen them. Most of the boys save them, either on their phones or computers. The problem never ceases because the girl is too afraid and too embarrassed to go to school administrators or police -- even in a case as severe as a boy secretly recording his sexual activity with a girl and sending it to all his friends. 

Sometimes, a girl sends her nude photos to one boy, a boy she probably likes or has feelings for -- only to have the boy send it to all his friends, who then sent it to all of their friends. If caught, they all could be tried on child pornography charges.

 Technically, distributing naked pictures of teenage girls under the age of 18 is considered child pornography. If caught, the boys or men could face jail time and/or have to register as sex offenders -- a burden they would carry all their lives. It doesn't matter if the girl took the pictures herself, or if the photos were sent to someone younger than 18. It's still child porn. 

The lingerie party photos, though sleazy, don't count because the girls weren't nude.

Neither I nor most of the other senior girls went to the party. Most didn’t want to be surrounded by the younger students. But some also understood that they'd have no control over whether pictures of them clad in skimpy lingerie spread across the the Internet. One of the people throwing the party was a girl in her senior year. Once the hosts began promoting the party, high school principals from all over Dade County contacted her, demanding that she shut down the party before anyone was hurt, in the present or the future. She refused, and on that Saturday night, hundreds of boys and girls left their homes in normal “mall attire” over the lingerie until they got to the doors of the party.

That, I later learned (and saw on Facebook), was when the street clothes came off and the craziness began. In lingerie and boxers, the girls and boys were unable to relate to anyone there in any sort of normal way. The mood of the party went from the regular, have-fun sort to a totally sex-centered atmosphere, heightened by drinking and smoking. I believe those who may have felt a little inhibited by the way they were dressed -- or not dressed -- used the drugs and alcohol much earlier and more heavily than others.

The photos that appeared online that night and the next day were disturbing. The party was at a former strip club, so the girls were dancing on the poles and bar, wearing next to nothing and drunkenly oblivious to the camera phones snapping their pictures. Even more unsettling is that some of those girls posted those images as their main profile photos -- the default photo anyone can see -- on Facebook. Apparently, they really feel that they need to look promiscuous to be popular. 

But while the fun is fleeting, the Internet is forever. What happens when they want to get into a good university? When they start looking for a job in their profession? When they hope to play a college or pro sport or teach for a living? These pictures could haunt them forever, hindering their potential for success in the real world. The real world is not the one portrayed on TV in shows and commercials where everyone is either trying to have sex, having sex, or talking about the sex they had or want to have. (Pictured above: Actress Vanessa Hudgens in cell phone photo scandal of 2007. Sources say she "learned her lesson.")

Lingerie parties are just a symptom of a society and a generation that has lost sight of what is important. Instead of doing crunches and spending good money on ridiculous stripper outfits, teens in other eras involved themselves in social causes. Today, one of the worst problems I believe we face is the sexual abuse of women, through rape, domestic violence, and human trafficking. The line defining acceptable behavior keeps receding from the moral boundaries  needed to protect women and girls. If we see ourselves as sex objects, how can we expect others to see us anything else?

Tweet

Legal & Life Lessons from a Dallas Cowboy

Hunt for Justice by Cynthia Hunt

How could he not be bitter?

Marcus Dixon’s case proves our justice system can fail miserably.

Still, he’s not bitter.

How would you feel if our justice system stole almost two years of your life and a dream you had defied odds to make come true?

You may remember Marcus’s story. It sparked national outrage and a change in Georgia laws.

His Father Abandoned Him & His Mother Went To Prison but the Little Boy Still Excelled

Marcus Dixon (pictured above) was always special despite how unfair his life seemed to be. His spirit and athletic talent made him stand out even in little league. After his father vanished and his mother went to prison, his grandmother gave her blessings when a white family asked to adopt 9-year-old Marcus, who is black.

Kenneth and Peri Jones, a school maintenance manager and teacher, lost relationships with two immediate family members but never regretted their decision to adopt a black child in the mostly white community of Rome, Georgia. They treated him the same as their son by birth. (Pictured Below Peri & Ken Jones Appear on CBS to Discuss Marcus's Case)

Marcus was a superstar in the classroom and on the field. As a high school senior, he had a 3.96 grade-point average and a full football scholarship to Vanderbilt University. The Joneses never dreamed they would soon be spending their life savings defending their star son.

The Racially Charged Case Begins

When Marcus was 18, he had sex with a white girl who was just shy of her 16th birthday. She later claimed he raped her. He said the sex was consensual and the girl had told him her father was a racist and would never approve. Many felt the prosecution that followed was harsh and racially motivated. Indeed, it’s hard to imagine the following if the boy had been white and the girl black.

For the most part, the jury believed Marcus and rejected the long list of charges the prosecutor had thrown at the teen—rape, sexual battery, false imprisonment, and aggravated assault. However in this “she said—he said” case, the jury convicted Marcus of the odd combination of statutory rape, a misdemeanor, and the more serious charge of aggravated child molestation because it was illegal for him as an 18-year-old to have sex with a girl who was just shy of 16.

The jurors were shocked and outraged when the judge, who was bound by Georgia’s mandatory sentencing laws, sent Marcus to prison for 10 years with no possibility of parole. The jurors did not realize what they had done until it was too late, and Marcus was headed to prison for the next decade. Five of the jurors said they never would have voted for what they thought were lesser convictions if they had known the result of their decision.

Outrage Spread Across the Nation Over How Legal System Treated Marcus

Marcus’s story sparked a national outcry and charges of Old South injustice. A white attorney saw the teen’s story and worked on Marcus’s appeal pro bono. After Marcus served 15 months in prison, the Georgia Supreme Court threw out Marcus's conviction and sentence for the molestation charges agreeing with his attorneys that it was cruel and unusual punishment. It's interesting to note that in this racially charged controversy, it was a white corporate Georgia attorney who donated $400,000 worth of legal work to free Marcus. Lawmakers themselves said they never realized that the law they had passed to strengthen sentencing guidelines for child molesters could be applied to consensual sex between teenagers. (Above, Marcus is freed)

Marcus Shows the Dallas Cowboys the Stuff of a Real Champion

Marcus could not regain everything he had lost, especially the full scholarship to Vanderbilt University. Marcus got a football scholarship to Hampton University in Virginia. Now five years after this legal nightmare started, Marcus is getting a second chance at his dream. He’s on the practice team for the Dallas Cowboys with hopes of making the team.

Pam Oliver, FOX’s awesome and respected NFL Correspondent, updated the story of Marcus Oliver last Sunday. In her interview, I was struck when he told her he is NOT bitter. (Watch video of Pam’s story on Marcus.)

NOT Bitter?

Marcus's Story Presents a Question for Us All

During this miraculous time of the year when Christians celebrate the birth of Jesus, there is so much to learn from this 24-year-old kid who lost so much because of a failure in our legal system.

Holiday Flying & A Cold-Hearted, Continental Gate Agent Made Me Daydream about Breaking Laws

I know people who are bitter about all events great and small in their lives. As I was flying home to Alabama to see my family yesterday, a bitter Continental gate agent went on the plane just before takeoff to yank me off the flight because she could not find my ticket for my 5-pound Chihuahua who was sitting in a carrier underneath my seat. I begged her to let me work it out with Continental in Nashville, but nope. She took me off the plane and let the plane leave with my seat empty.

I’m bitter about that.

At first, I had visions of this obviously miserable woman going hunting with Dick Cheney. That made me ashamed. Then I had visions of her going clubbing with Plaxico Burress. That made me laugh. The woman who had been incredibly rude all morning to even elderly passengers is obviously a bitter person. After spending almost six hours waiting for the next flight . . . hours I was supposed to be spending with my terminally ill younger sister . . . I became more embittered.

Still my thoughts go back to Marcus Dixon—a young man with so much grace that he can forgive and forget how unfair life has often been to him and persevere. My six hours of airport waiting was nothing compared to his 15 months in prison. Could you feel the same way if our legal system robbed you of an experience you richly earned and stole two years from your life? Our legal system is made by humans and therefore will have more cases like this.

I’ve decided the world is made up of the bitter and the not bitter. The bitter are petty about everything, worrying that someone, somewhere is getting a better deal. These people are so overwhelmed with insecurity and jealousy, they spend valuable energy trying to bring others down . . . even others who are on the same team as they.

Marcus & My Sister Share a Secret

The “not bitter” are the champions in life. The people of all ages and races who refuse to let life’s circumstances ever damage their spirit. The ones who want good things for all their peers because they understand when one wins, we all win.

My sister Angelia (left) isn’t bitter. After a massive heart attack at age 23, she was told she had inoperable brain aneurysms and a heart aneurysm and that she would probably live only a few more months. I am incredibly blessed to tell you nine beautiful years later she is still alive and doctors call her a little miracle, a word MD's don't use lightly.

Angelia takes 12 medications a day. She cannot lift more than five pounds or exercise. She cannot dream of becoming a mother. There is no treatment for her DNA flaw that causes her collagen to be so weak and therefore her blood vessels to be so fragile. Doctors don't know how long she can defy the odds, but I know she is blessing all in her path with her happy spirit . . . a spirit of faith and thankfulness for each day she wakes up alive . . . a spirit with no bitterness.

In this season of Christ, I hope I can be more like my sister and Marcus. I hope I can rise above anything that comes in my path and find the grace to be thankful. Since this is a crime blog, I guess I am somewhat helped by the fact many people aren’t like Marcus. . . . We wouldn’t have so many murders and crimes to fill our blog with lively writing and debate.

Marcus told a Dallas Morning News reporter "I stayed in the Word. I stayed prayed up. My faith can't be broken. It's so strong, nothing can break it. It's always hard to have faith because you are tested every day."

Thank you Marcus for being wise at only 24 . . . and for reminding me the best revenge is to beat bitterness. The Dallas Cowboys will be lucky to have you on their team to remind some of the spoiled and the petty multi-millionaire star athletes what a true champion is like.

Tweet