The Forever Storm, and a Thanksgiving Prayer

by Susan Murphy Milano

Last year at this time, Karen Kahler of Columbia, Kansas, was finishing her workday and making plans to head out the next day with her daughter, Emily 18, Lauren, 16, and son, Sean, 10, for Thanksgiving. Their plan was to visit Dorothy Wright, 89, Karen's grandmother, in Burlingame, Kansas, for the holiday weekend. Karen had filed for divorce earlier in the year from her violent and abusive husband, and this was to be the first holiday away from Kraig Kahler since their marriage.

Thanksgiving day was without incident for Karen, 47 (pictured above with her daughters), and it was first real taste of freedom, away from the constant monitoring, via texting, phone calls and following she had endured. Karen and her family planned activities and enjoyed their time together with a great sense of peace. When Saturday rolled around, they spent the day in town and then headed back to Grandma’s to have dinner.

On November 28, 2009, while placing a roast in the oven, the front door swung open and the sound of bullets and screams filled the home. Hours earlier, according to authorities, Kraig Kahler had been outside, waiting for the perfect moment to kill his family. Investigators say Karen was shot first, then Lauren, Grandma Wright and, finally, Emily. In the chaos, Sean managed to escape, unharmed, running to a nearby neighbor for help.

At approximately 6:15 pm, officers were summoned to the home in Burlingame, where Karen was dead and three others were wounded. They were transported to a Topeka hospital, where Lauren and Emily died soon after arriving, and Grandma died a few days later.

For Sean Kahler, this is not only his first Thanksgiving without his mom, sisters and grandmother, it is a holiday he would rather forget. For as long as this young man lives, Thanksgiving and, frankly, his life, will be extremely difficult.

As hard as he tries to simply go on and live his life, something will undoubtedly always remind Sean of the tragedy. It could be something as innocent as the way a door is left open or hearing a mom call out to her son in a park. Perhaps a special song favored by his sisters will come on the radio. It takes so little for a victim of a violent crime to be reminded; the pain is like a permanent tattoo that can't be removed.

Some days will be better than others for Sean. At times, the pain will undoubtedly stalk him like his worst enemy. Only this isn't a presence Sean can simply order to go away. He'll never be able to run from it, in particular, on every Thanksgiving.

Unfortunately, his pain will be further magnified by the pending murder trial of his father. Sean Kahler, the lone survivor, is expected to be a key witness for the prosecution. After a handful of hearings, a court date is scheduled in December to determine if Sean can testify outside the courtroom by video camera. In my opinion, there should be no debate; Sean should not be forced to face the person who murdered his entire world.

Today, as you gather with family, my wish is for you to stop for a moment and say a prayer for Sean Kahler. Take a moment to leave words of hope and strength for Sean on this post. This young man has so little left to be thankful for. Pray that he can find peace one day and be thankful that his life was spared.

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Giving Thanks in an Imperfect World

by Pat Brown

I am alone tonight (with my four cats) in the suburbs of Washington DC. I have a chance to reflect about my life, about all of our lives on this planet, to think back on a year of communal struggle with recession, fear, crime, and war. I think of what I have to give thanks for. I wonder what victims of crime and families who have suffered loss of loved ones can give thanks for. And I find there is always something if we break down our lives into moments instead of results.

I met a woman the other day at the movie theatre and we chatted for a while as we walked toward our cars in the parking lot. She told me how she felt life and the people she loved had let her down; that her life seemed a failure. I asked her how she would describe a vacation where she saw the most beautiful sunset on the beach, had a delightful picnic in a butterfly reserve, attended a fabulous musical show during the first half of the trip but during the second half it rained every day, the people at the hotel were rude, the dinner at the restaurant was horrible and then she fell down the steps while sightseeing and broke her foot.

When she told me she would view the vacation as a terrible one. I asked why she discounted the worth of the wonderful experiences she had during the first half? She smiled and said, "Well, I guess because the trip wasn't perfect and it didn't end well." Welcome to life.

We can all makes lists of bad things and good things that happen to us on our journey through the years. Some of us will have longer good lists, and some longer bad lists, but most of us will have a fair amount on both sides. And in those lists, we will have different qualities of experience, some mildly pleasant and some magnificant, some slighty disappointing and some devastating. Sometimes a bad experience will lead to a good one and vice versa. Isn't life fascinating?

I had a tubal pregnancy and infertility that led to the adoption of my third child. I had a difficult divorce that led me to a wonderfully close relationship with my sister and her husband and a whole new set of friends. Each door that closed was painful, but each door that opened was an adventure.

If we view life as a series of short stories instead of a novel, we can expect to have some chapters that are humorous, some romantic, some challenging, some exciting, some tragic, some spiritual, and some bittersweet. And we never know when one chapter will end and another will begin.

Today, as we spend time with friends and family or find ourselves alone with God, please let us remember to be thankful for each chapter of our lives and grateful for the people who have shared our stories with us for whatever time we had together.

Crime will return to Women in Crime Ink tomorrow, but for now, I wish you all a great Thanksgiving with your loved ones, and for those who are suffering the absence of a loved one, may your memories be comforting.

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